Monday, April 25, 2011

Politically incorrect-Return of Poonam Pandey

Well well, now that our Indian cricket team has won the world Cup without feasting their eyes on the nude body of (now) celebrated Miss Poonam Pandey, has she dropped the idea of stripping all the way? No, she still wants to go nude and this time for the nation.

We do not know whether BCCI has considered her magnanimous offer, but we do know that Poonam suddenly disappeared from the scene ‘on & from’ the day of the World Cup final. After hiding for a few days, she resurfaced last week explaining that she had received threats from extremists and there were a few court cases against her. When questioned, now that the Indian team has achieved its goal without her ‘assistance,’ has she dropped the idea?

No, she still wants to shed her clothes. She wants to do it in private for the Indian team. But this time she wants to dedicate it to the nation. “I am stripping for the country”, that is what she has to say. Well then, what about doing it on national TV? If the act is for the benefit of the entire nation, why restrict it to one team of eleven persons? Why doesn’t she offer the feast to the entire nation?

We are not sure if the team wants to look at her, nude or otherwise. They have better things to look at and so has our nation. Miss Pandey would do well to keep her clothes intact. She would do a great service to the cricket team and our nation if she keeps her clothes on, all of them. But, may be, modesty is not her calling.

Last heard, her trick has paid off and now she is gainfully employed with the TV show “Khatron ke khiladi.” May be, as they say, Indian cricket team’s loss is Akshay Kumar’s gain. What say?

Just a thought…………….

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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sreesanth-Spoilt brat

Sometimes it so happens in life that you don’t like a person for no reason at all. Even if you don’t know that person he sends wrong vibes to you. And if you are a sensible type, you feel guilty about it. The same thing happened to me when I first saw Sreesanth’s pictures in newspapers and later, when I saw him on TV. “Here is one spoilt brat”, I remember to have thought. I had no reason to dislike him for he is just a kid and I am on the wrong side of sixties, matured enough to disregard such thoughts. But the feeling persisted.

I was right. From the beginning of his career, his body language was that of an arrogant child. His aggression and ugly gestures suggested that he thought himself to be in the league of Kapil Dev and Imran Khan. His behavior on and off the field left much to be desired. Sreesanth provoked even his own team mates, showed unnecessary aggression where it was not required. His own attitude has hindered his progress.

Earlier on, when on one occasion he provoked Harbhajan Singh and in turn got slapped by the latter, he cried on the field like a little kid. That is what a spoilt brat does. All the so called artificial aggression vanished like air from a punctured balloon.

In World Cup final also he was listless. One fails to justify why Dhoni gave him a chance against Ashwin who had shown his mettle in one game. However, I noticed that below layers and layers of sun cream, his cheeks were puffed and showed signs of tiredness. Perhaps he himself was not expecting a chance in the final and was having a good time with his food and beverages. There was no spring in his run and the fielding was listless, as if he was not interested in the game.

Sreesanth is lucky that he is still in the reckoning and I don’t think he will last long. For him it will always be “touch and go.”

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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Bad's the word

With all due respect, noted writer-columnist Soumya Bhattacharya, creator of the column “Dad’s the word” in Sunday Hindustan Times has perhaps not heard of the saying “too much of anything is bad.” And that is what he is doing by giving details of his nine year old daughter down our throat week after week.

His daughter may be a cute little girl, intelligent even, I concede and she may be an apple of her parents’ eyes as it should be. But we, as readers of HT, specially the Sunday issue are not interested in details of his daughter. That his daughter is not interested in cricket, that her first love is foot ball (isn’t it of all Calcuttans, including Sourav Ganguly?), closely followed by tennis, followed by her father’s writings, followed by…………

A week or two or even a month of his daughter is OK, as we can understand a father’s love for his beloved daughter, but it becomes too much when Mr. B. wants us to read about what she thinks, what she draws, what she reads, how she curls, how she mocks her father, where she vacations. Mr. B. is a good writer (so I have heard), so we expect a good writer to utilize valuable Sunday space for topics other than his daughter like Karan does and Memon does. Every body may not be expected to take interest in the daily routine of his daughter. Of course, Mr. B. can very well argue that those who are not interested can overlook the column and not read the article. True, but Mr. B. it is Sunday and on Sundays we want to savor the entire paper with good and interesting articles in it. And “Dad’s the word” is not one of them. So please spare us.

No offense meant and God bless his daughter.

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Monday, April 18, 2011

Fine leg

Our present cricket team is a lucky lot. Apart from being showered with crores of Rupees, two-wheelers, luxury cars, plots and what not, for the first time in the history of cricket, they are being offered nude view of a female body and a live one at that. What more could they ask for?

One Miss Poonam Pandey (who is she?), a model by profession, has offered to go nude in front of our cricketers to boost their spirit. I had never heard of this Poonam Pandey, as a model or otherwise. Now of course I hear of her daily and the whole world knows her. There, you know the secret of her popularity, “bare it all” if nothing else works.

Miss Pandey is, in her own words “ready and willing, at any time and place of Indian team’s choosing” to go nude to lift their spirit and thereby lift their performance. The kind lady has not specified whether she will shed her clothes backstage and come to the stage in her birthday suit or she will come to the stage fully clothed and perform a striptease for the benefit of our Indian team. In the second option our players may get some titillation, for, there is always an element of suspense and glee when a woman (any woman) sheds her clothes in front of you. But should she decide for the first option, the fun will be over even before it began. Nobody will give her a second glance, except perhaps, our naughty boy Sreesanth who will bare his teeth against her you know what.

Poonam further claims that the act would be a therapeutic treatment for our players. In that case, wouldn’t it be better if she chooses to give this treatment to each player individually? But that would not have gained her an instant fame, would it have?

I doubt if this now popular Miss Poonam knows what LBW means in cricket. She must have heard of the term “fine leg”, considered her legs are fine and decided to show them with other fine things she has and gain some popularity. Let me admit, she has scored there and how.

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Current affairs-Lone ranger

We are a nation of corruption, cricket, noise, and (over) population, in that order. The rate at which our population is growing, we are likely to surpass China in no time at all. Noise is our national pass time. Be it an occasion of celebration or gloom, we must make noise loud enough to break ear drums. Suffice to say that cricket is our religion and we follow it religiously. But it is corruption and corruption alone that we are expert at.


Right from our babus, ministers, corporations, educational institutes, sports bodies, railways, you name it, corruption is there. Of course, like every where, there are exceptions, but they are rarest of rare. We have our Mayawatis, Kalmadis, Rajas, Hasan Ali, Telgi and their ilk. These handfull of persons have scammed several lakh crores of Rupees between them. If you sum up the total amount of these scams, the amount will be mind boggling and if our administration recovers the ill gotten amount from them, prices of all commodities will come down like a falling Sensex.

Corruption and cricket go hand in hand and the biggest twister, Sharad Pawar has his grip in both of them. Pawar, the strong man and his daughter are grabbing land everywhere. One example is the Lavasa Township where Pawar’s daughter and his son-in-law are interested parties. Now even his nephew Ajit Pawar is involved in Maharashtra State Co.op. Bank scam being one of its directors. And such a person like Sharad Pawar is in Group of Ministers on corruption.

It takes a Gandhian like Anna Hazare, a Lone Ranger, to challenge such a person. Where the whole nation looked helplessly and suffered silently on account of these shameless politicians, it was Hazare alone who took up the issue against corruption and forced Pawar out of GoM, brave man indeed. Now of course the entire nation is with him. Tainted and selfish persons like Chautala and Uma Bharati tried to take political advantage of the situation and went to meet Hazare, but were made to bite dust and turned away by Hazare’s supporters.

The biggest misery is: these politicians and ministers are fleecing the country and thereby fleecing us, common people and yet they are being provided with biggest security cover and we, whom they are fleecing, are made to pay for it.

Now that Hazare is battling for us against corruption, let the entire nation support him and throw persons like Pawar out of power and out of reckoning forever, for the simple reason that we are not going to have Lone Ranger like Anna anytime soon.

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Friday, April 15, 2011

Politically incorrect-Bad loser

Pakistan captain Shahid Afridi may be a good cricketer and according to some, a good captain as well. But he is nowhere near our Dhoni when it comes to keeping his cool and expressing his views in public. Dhoni is suave and always in control whereas Afridi is always babbling whether praising or criticizing India.

Gautam had just expressed his intense feelings for the loss of lives on 26/11, never intending to blame Pakistan for that. It is best left to politicians. But Afirdi, with guilt conscious that he has, and knowing who was responsible for the event, took it in negative spirit.

Then again, his comments to the effect that we (India) don’t have large and clean hearts like them don’t stand the test of time. He also claimed that Indian media is negative. What about the media in Pakistan? Look at their papers, TV, even madrasas, they always spit fire against India. The ‘hate India’ campaign is always on in Pakistan.

When in India, Afridi was all praise for us. He had good comments about us, congratulated our team on our success, enjoyed our hospitality, earned money here and displayed some sporting spirit when on our soil. We too praised him for his behavior on and off the field. But the moment he landed on Pakistani soil, negativity took over and he started to spit venom. What is more, the poor fellow doesn’t have guts to stand by his words because the next day he took a complete U turn and said he did not mean it. If so, his own media quoted him wrongly. His own people are criticized him for his foolish and untimely comments. We forgive him. Now he should decide whom Allah has given pure and large heart.

If at all he has some intelligence and a bit of decency left in him, he should take a lesson or two from our captain, for I am sure he (Dhoni) has a heart large enough to accommodate Afridi.

A bad loser that is what Afridi is.

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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Celebrity news-Deepika's dumb defence

Dev Anand expressed his ire towards the remix of his eternal song “Dum maro dum.” An old timer and a gentleman that he is, he chose normal and decent words to convey his feelings for this sh*t of a remix. The fact of the matter is that the remix of this song smells like Pritam who remixed the song smells, like Jaideep who penned the song smells, like Anushka who sung the song smells and last but not the least, Deepika who defended the song, smells the most.

It is a pity that our censor board has passed this vulgar (and I am putting it mildly) song containing words like “potty”, “nanga” and what not, in the name of remix. It is not a song it is sh*t, real sh*t. I am unable to find proper words to describe this dirt of a song. Jaideep should be barred from the film industry and the less said about Pritam, the better. The likes of these are infecting the minds of our children in the name of modern songs.

But the most surprising aspect is that Deepika defends herself and the song declaring that some (?) consider the song vulgar, whereas she is overwhelmed by the positive response she has received for her performance and the song. And yet, I am yet to come across a single line of appreciation for this song in any of the film magazines or other news papers for that matter. The song is filthy and so are it’s producer, director, actor and all connected to the song.

Deepika further asserts that people have Zeenat Aman’s image in minds when listening to the number. Deepika forgets that most of today’s youngsters were not even born when Zeenat performed for the original song. And those (now adults), who saw Zeenat then, don’t care for the likes of Deepika. The fact is, Zeenat was far more dignified even with her clothes off than Deepika with all her clothes on, period.

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Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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