Friday, January 14, 2011

Politically incorrect-Advani's adventures

Advaniji, as is his wont, is at it again, that is, flaying our Prime Minister. True, Advani is in opposition and it is the job of opposition to oppose the ruling party whenever it fails to take proper decision or action, to maintain checks and balances. It is also true that this time our PM has hesitated to take any action or even make comments on various scams. But Advani, of all the people, who was found sharing sweets with Uma Bharti at the fall of Babri masjid, and whose one foot is on this sinful earth, and the other where both his feet should have been, has no moral right to criticize our PM. And as far as honesty and integrity go, he is nowhere near Mr. Singh.

Now let us imagine that both his feet are up there and Advaniji is at the intersection road leading to the hell and heaven. Surprisingly, the dwarpal (door keeper) of Heaven comes running forward and receives Advaniji with a smile: “Sir, our Lord, Indra Dev has invited you to our heaven, if you so wish.”

Advani surprised (as he was sure of his place in hell) that what he had done to deserve this honour, hesitated and said: “Aaaah, you must be mistaken, my friend. Perhaps it is some other Advani that Indra wants to invite. I am L K Advani.”

Dwarpal: “No Sir, there is no mistake. There is only one Advani in today’s list of invitees.”

Advani (still hesitating): “Err, tell me dwarpalji, is there an opposition party, sorry, opposition leader in heaven? And if so, who is your opposition leader?”

Dwarpal: “Sorry Sir, what is opposition party?”

Advani: See, it is like this. Your Lord Indra is your king, so your ruler and by virtue of that, he is a ruling party. Now there must be somebody to oppose him if he makes a mistake and correct him.”

Dwarpal (now indignant): “Sir, our Lord is the one and only (sarve sarva) power in heaven, has been so and will be so for all time to come. And Sir, our Lord doesn’t make mistakes.”

Advani: “What? That means you don’t have elections in there?”

Dwarpal (confused): “Election? Now what is that?”

Advani: “Look, every now and then, some other gods must want to occupy Indra’s chair, oh sorry, I mean His throne. The rest of the population of gods should vote for the one they want to see as their leader.”

Dwarpal was now totally confused and wondering at the sanity of his Lord for inviting this crackpot, remained silent.

Advani (after a while with enthusiasm): “Ok, at least you have some structures or houses or monuments which are in dispute so I can break them?”

Dwarpal (now sure of his ground): “No Sir, there is no dispute in heaven. Lord Indra’s word is the law. Moreover, all structures here are unbreakable and permanent here.”

Advani: “That doesn’t sound very interesting dwarpal, what about hell?”

: “Oh no sir, you don’t want to go there. There is all chaos in hell. Every one fights with every one else all the time.”

Advani (brightening): “Sounds interesting. Show me the way and lead me there.”

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Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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