Friday, August 20, 2010

Politically incorrect-Kaun banega Scampati

This is the age of TV and computers. Eons ago it started with Stone Age, then Iron Age and then probably Plastic age. Now currently TV is in vogue. An average person with regular working hours spends four to five hours watching TV in a day. We have a choice of so many different shows that it is difficult to mention them all here. One of the popular subjects happens to be that of Quiz. In quiz programs also there are several variations, but let us not get into them. For the present, we will stick to “Kaun banega crorepati”, in which one question is asked on TV with three-four options in reply. If you SMS your reply correctly, you get a chance to play the game live on TV in Mr. Bachchan’s darbar. Here you are asked questions one by one by Mr. Bacchan in his inimitable style and you keep on winning higher amounts with your correct answers and the final reward is Rs. one crore, hence the title “Kaun banega crorepati”.

Now, this also happens to be the age of scams. You open any paper in the morning and you will find not one or two, but several scams perpetrated by ordinary and not so ordinary people. Just so you get an idea-Madhu Koda scam, Satyam scam, Lalu’s fodder scam, Mayawati’s Taj Corridor scam, mining scams, housing scams, the list is endless. You name it, we have it. But the latest is the Common Wealth Games scam. It is the current flavor of the season.

So we thought, why not a quiz on scams on TV? Questions asked will be about scams only. You don’t have to work your way to death as in open general knowledge quiz. Here is a subject with one thing to focus on-scams-, just like history, geography, psychology, one target. One question will be asked on TV with three options, for example:
“What was the amount involved in Madhu Koda scam? Your options are a) 4000 crores b) 2000 crores and c) 1000 crores.” The one, whose answer is quickest and correct, will continue with further questions.

And here is the master stroke. You will not get your bumper prize in cash if all your replies are correct. The bumper prize will be: you will be made a member of the organizing committee of the Common Wealth Games and that too in the department of your choice. Exciting, isn’t it? In previously announced prize, you get one crore at the most and the game is over. In this game, you get entry into several departments of the Common Wealth Games like sports equipments, transport, housing, catering, uniforms, gifts, medals, roads, the choice is yours. The game is scam, you scam as much as you want. There are thousands of crores to scam at your disposal. No questions asked. It all depends on your aptitude and intelligence. How is this quiz for a change? So, get set and go.

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Indian politics-Burning Gujarat

Gujarat is burning, thanks to Mr. Modi. In his over enthusiasm of vibrant Gujarat, Modi has shaken and burnt Gujarat. Gujaratis, as a rule, are industrious and peaceful community, not prone to violence, but not our dear Mr. Modi. Apart from Sohrabuddin, Kausarbi and Prajapati, there are many skeletons in his cupboard.

Modi’s latest claim that the transfer of Sohrabuddin encounter case outside Gujarat is an insult to Gujarat judiciary, is dismissed by Congress spokesman Abhishek Singhvi as a ‘drama’, and rightly so. His chief right hand, left hand and what not, Amit Shah, whom he (Modi) had given a free hand, believed in removing (eliminating?) people who caused inconvenience. Now it turns out that several ministers were involved in extortion rackets, including Mr. Shah. One Mohammad Azam has claimed that ex-home minister Mr. Kataria had taken Rs. Ten crores from a marble trader to eliminate Sohrabuddin. Why? Sohrabuddin collected ransom for Amit and now caused inconvenience. So he was the first to go. Next, Kausarbi was picked up with Sohrabuddin, hence her existence was inconvenient. She went next. Then Prajapati was witness to the couple’s arrest and was the last inconvenience in this particular episode. He was eliminated and they thought the slate was clean. Now Azam too fears for his life. Right from Gujarat riots (worst in history), to this Sohrabuddin murder, Modi has dirtied his hands. His guilt of involvement is almost proved.

Yet, Modi is having a field day. How does he continue in the post is a million Dollar question and shame to our nation. However, I will give this to Mr. Modi. He has firmly stood behind Amit Shah, claiming his innocence, no matter what. Unlike Mr. Sharad Pawar, who backed Lalit initially when the going was good, but left Lalit high and dry at first sign of trouble, when warned by Congress. Not our Mr. Modi. Now the only thing left to be done by Mr. Modi is to accompany Amit Shah in jail on matter of principle.

That also reminds me that a few years back Mr. Modi considered himself a candidate for the Prime minister’s post. BJP too had him in mind and almost declared him a candidate. Had Mr. Advani, with his one leg in the morgue had not interfered, for he himself was yearning for the post, Modi might as well have. I shudder to think if the likes of Modis and Mayawatis enter the fray, God help our country, that is, if HE can.

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Friday, August 13, 2010

Mera Bharat Mahan ...

Mera Bharat mahan, 100 me se 99 beiman

India needs SYSTEM CHANGE

I am not happy to say the above, but it is reality. India could have been developed country by now if our politicians and bureaucrats have not been corrupt and dishonest.

Though I am writing all this out of my frozen turbulence, I would like to pinpoint the exact problem and the solution for the problem.

The government of India has spent thousands of crores of rupees in many five year plans and other projects since independence for the common man and welfare of the people of India. But hardly 10% of this money has been actually used for the purpose it was meant for and rest went into the pockets of bureaucrats and politicians. If you add all this money and divide it by the no. of people below poverty line then each family could have been given Rs.5 lakhs and if this money have been kept on their name in a fixed deposit they would have received Rs.5000 as monthly interest and there would have been no poor in India.

No government work in India is done without corruption. Politicians and bureaucrats can behave as king (I always tell India does not have democracy but dynasty rule where it has many kings in form of politicians and bureaucrats). All this is possible because we have FAULTY SYSTEM of governance, laws and rules which can work only if office bearers are honest. So we need to change rules, laws so that accountability, time frame to complete work, punishment etc. gets well defined and described in each law and rule.And monitoring and punishment power to be given to the people for which the work is carried out.

Now the problem is power to change the system lies in the hand of these kings and and they will never change it because if they do so their income coming from corruption will stop and they will get punishment. So we all common man, NGO, media should focus only on demanding ‘SYSTEM CHANGE ‘, rather than doing patch work for each problem.

Media, NGOs and people together can highlight this and built great pressure on the government to change the system.

SOLUTION TO ALL PROBLEMS can be as follows :-

1) Media should never publish statements of politicians (there job is to lie continuously) on front page if it is not useful to common man. If they think it is important, they should publish it in inside page. At the same time any actual work done for the betterment of the people should be published on front page.

2) NGOs are doing good charity work but what they do is take donation from us, say for education, and give education to poor children. But each of us have already paid for this through government taxes. So focus of NGO should be to find out where that money has gone? E.g. on government papers expenses may be shown for building a school, repairing a school, paying salary to teacher but if you actually go there and check there will be no school or teacher. They can use RTI (right to information act) and take help of media to highlight this. Let the money we have already paid, go to right place.

I would also like to tell you that Britishers were doing administration honestly and intelligently. Take example of Mumbai city we are still using infrastructure which they have built (like railway line, drainage system, water pipeline), 100 years ago. Compare their honesty, vision with our politicians and bureaucrats. Our politicians and bureaucrats just have very high ego, they do only those work which pays them ransom (not bribe) and that (the work) too of poor quality. And they are not accountable or punishable because of faulty system.

3) People should demand and support SYSTEM CHANGE in all possible ways.

Hence it is my request to all of you on this independence day to pass on this to as many people as you can and raise your voice for SYSTEM CHANGE to really make Mera Bharat Mahan.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010

Politically incorrect-Dog's life

The latest news or no news is: “Model detained after her pet urinates in the building. Model Rupali Suri is alleged to have been detained like a criminal.” So far so good.

Till now I was under the impression, may be I am wrong, that this pet creating such mischief business was being looked after by BMC. The police who are quite famous for not doing their duty now appear willing to accept this additional burden. BMC people must be relieved.

As the sequence of events go first, Miss Suri’s dog, Don, makes a puddle on the stairs of their residential building. It’s a residential building mind it, not a public property. Next, Miss Suri, as she should, wipes it clean with a disinfectant. I believe, as a man of common sense, that the matter should have ended there. But the thinking of police totally differs from mine. About an hour after the incident occurred, two police officials came and took Miss Suri to the police station. If you are robbed, the police are known to arrive after three hours, if a dog makes a puddle, they will reach pronto.

Anyway, Suri was made to wait and questioned for three hours. May be they were after information as to the size and shape of the puddle, its quantity, chemical formation etc. for reference. After that Suri was fined Rs. Twelve hundred for the crime she had not committed and to cap it all, the receipt did not specify what she had been charged for. The police said she had been fined under BMC act and not the police act. Now, the BMC act clearly states that in such cases if the owner of the pet clears the mess, he or she is not fined.

Here is the irony: if a human being makes a mess, and he is entitled to make a mess on road, walls, tracks, in fact where ever he wishes to, he is not fined, and goes scot-free. But a pet is expected to behave sensibly or is fined twelve hundred Rupees. Consider this, that a dog is more sensible, more disciplined and so it is expected to maintain some decorum or else is punished. A human being, on the other hand, is considered lesser then a dog and as such is not expected to maintain a dog’s standards, is pitied upon and allowed to spray walls or whichever place he fancies. He is not a dog after all.

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Sunday, August 8, 2010

Indian politics-Wild life photography

I bow my head to the technology in its modern form, specially, camera footage in its frozen form. For, it denies opportunity to the perpetrator of an act later, in this instance, an ugly act like that of congress woman, Jyoti Kumari.

The photographer of Hindustan Times should be rewarded- no, he should be awarded- for the freeze photo of Gamla (flower pot) throwing Jyoti Kumari. In this photograph, words are not required, the expressions on her face say it all. I will not expect such wild facial features on the face of even a Shaki Kapoor, leave alone a lady. The expressions on Jyoti Kumari are those of a wild animal fully aware that the prey is weak and not going to be able to defend itself, in this case security guards of the assembly, poor creatures. The ferocity on her face alone should fetch the photographer an international award. Sure of her ground, she was breaking pot after pot and I suspect that she was screaming her head and thumping her chest like Tarzan, though I am not sure. But of course, one should not forget that it was Lalu’s Bihar. Anything can happen there. It is fortunate that she didn’t carry one of those pots inside the house and break it on the speaker’s head. Expressions on her face suggested that she was capable of doing just that. Form now on, helmets will be mandatory in the house.

Later, on CNN-IBN, she explained that her act of throwing those gamlas was in her own defense, never bothering to declare against what or whom. But what can one expect from a State in which Lalu’s brother or his brother-in-law, compelled an entire train to be shifted to the platform on which His Highness was standing ignoring that schedules of several trains would be affected and thousands of passengers would suffer. What is worse was Lalu’s reaction: “Such small things happen. It is nothing. He is in power. Kahe nahin karega bhai. (why shouldn’t he do it).” Well so another small thing has happened, courtesy Jyoti Kumari.

On a lighter note, I wonder if our respected lady Robin Hood Jyoti Kumari is married and has children. I pity her husband and children, for they must always remain alert and keep themselves out of her range lest she throws flower pots at the drop of a hat at jet set speed.

Finally and jokes apart, in all seriousness I bow my humble head to the photographer for that excellent wild life image.

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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Politically incorrect-Terrorism diversified

Pakistan is playing with India like a cat plays with a mouse. That Pakistan is not interested in peace prevailing between the two nations is obvious. But still India prefers to play in their hands. Pakistan’s foreign minister, Shah Mehmood Qureshi equated our Home secretary with Hafiz Sayeed, the dreaded terrorist. Our Mr. Krishna could say nothing in response. It is apparent that Pakistan is going through the motions because of the pressure from the US.

Now it appears that Pakistan have found new ways and means to infiltrate information and recruit terrorists in India, in which even US can’t do anything. One of our lady IFS officers, by the name of Madhuri Gupta, spied for Pakistan for love. It is said and truly at that, that love knows no boundaries. Miss Gupta, an Indian, wanted to marry one Jamshed, her handler. And so she spied for him. While Gupta was lovelorn, Jamshed remained Jamshed, that is, just her handler. It is quite apparent that Jamshed was using her. This is also a kind of infiltration, only more dangerous. One Madhuri caught? Never mind, they will find others.

Next, one Hindu boy by the name of Subhash from Rajna village, has been converted into a Muslim and is renamed Wasim who has become a dreaded terrorist. It is said that this Subhash fellow fell in love with a Muslim girl much like Miss Gupta fell for a Muslim man. Hizb-UL-Mujahideen promptly saw opportunity and asked the boy to convert and join them, if he wants to set eyes on his lady love ever again. Subhash converted, joined them and turned against his own people and terrorized them. His fate, so far as his love and marriage is concerned, is not known. What is known is that his dread is more then those of Pakistani terrorists. So Pakistan has found yet another method of recruiting people. This suits them because earlier, they risked lives of their own people, now our people do their job for them.

While India believes in the policy of peace and negotiations, Pakistan continues to do what it wants to do only their modus operandi is different.

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Monday, August 2, 2010

Celebrity news-Sachin's blood in a book

“For Rs. 35 lakhs (75000 US$) get a book with Sachin’s (Tendulkar) blood on a page” scream news paper headlines. The titanic book weighs 37 kgs and has 852 pages in all. Titled Tendulkar Opus, it will have a ‘signature page’ with Tendulkar’s blood mixed with paper pulp. At a rough guess one page amounts to $ 88. Good business that.

It is rumored that ten people have already booked the mammoth edition. However it is not mentioned that those who deposited Rs. 35 lakh each are Indians or foreign nationals. However, this proves a universal point: “Fools are found everywhere.”

But let me make a guess. It is unlikely that any Indian would have bought the book, unless, of course, he is Vijay Mallaya or his ilk. It is unlikely that Reliance bros. would be interested. They are too smart for that. But suppose some Indian decides to have a copy, there is every chance that income tax people will go after him with a magnifying glass.

Anyway, that is for the super rich. But the publishers have not neglected us. For lesser mortals who are not so rich, but are rich enough to make fools of themselves, there will be an edition costing $2000 to $ 3000 a piece, and that, if your calculation is not up to the mark, let me tell you, will be around Rs. 1 lakh plus. I can’t afford that. Can you?

Let us forget ethics for the moment. What next? Tendulkar’s nails, both fingers’ and toes’ or hair from his body from which ever part you fancy, duly packed in sealed and temper proof packing, just like RBI issues proof coins in packing which can’t be pilfered and can be maintained for years to come.

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Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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