Saturday, July 31, 2010

Octopus Paul

Our dear octopus Paul has done it again. Paul’s predictions through out the Foot ball World Cup turned out to be correct. In finals also, Paul’s prediction in favor of Spain was precise. Spain won. The sad part is that the Germans have declared Fatwa against the octopus and if the news is to be believed, they want to kill the genius. The fact of the matter is that Germans could not tackle the opponent team and want to take out their vent on the poor creature.

Our great country has a great tradition of giving great shelter to great and not so great souls in trouble, from time immemorial. Right from the early civilization when Lord Rama gave shelter to Vibhishana against Ravana’s wrath, to recent times when we are giving shelter to Taslima Nasreen of Bangladesh and many more in between. Now be a good sport and don’t ask why we could not protect or give shelter to our very own M.F. Hussain against radical elements and their Fatwas. The issue is politically complicated. Moreover, we have a tradition of giving shelters to outsiders and VIPs, insiders (our own nationals) and ordinary people, be damned.

However we have deviated form the point. We don’t know the present whereabouts of this phenomenon creature. We say phenomenon because we feel that in a manner, this Paul is superior to Nostradamus, the greatest future predictor of all times. Nostradamus predicted events to occur four hundred, five hundred years hence. A safe bet, I would say. Our dear octopus Paul predicts immediate future, within hours or days, easier to catch hold of him if he is wrong. So we can offer asylum to the octopus in our safe heaven against the German threat. But, we in India, have a tradition. If a snake is injured or killed, its lady snake follows the killer and takes revenge. I wonder if our dear octopus Paul has any beloved, Paulina in waiting. In this context I would certainly like to warn the Germans, of what would lie in store in waiting for them, should they still decide to harm innocent Mr. Paul. Let us be fair to opponents also.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Current affairs-High court's judgement

The Bombay High Court has dismissed the petition filed by Adhishree, a class nine student against Vibgyor High school. The school had expelled her because her parents protested against a fee hike last year. And that too, after collecting fee from the student, a whopping Rs. 80000/-, quite arbitrary on part of the school, to say the least.

The High Court declared that the trauma and stress the child had suffered will only increase if she is readmitted to the same school. The decision has been taken in the interest of the student. The High Court further ordered that no school will reject the child’s application on the ground of delay. To which one of the trustees of the school Rustam Kerawala responded that there will be ambience at the school for all students and the verdict of the court was in the interest of the child and all other students.

What Rustomjee really meant was that the judgment was in the interest of ‘this’ and all other schools which wanted to act arbitrarily. One Arundhati Chavan, president, PTA United Forum rightly observed: “It is the end of the road for parents who want to raise a voice against the wrongdoings of the school managements.” As it is, there is very little say of the parents in the working of not only this, but any school, for that matter.

This article is not to say that the sentiments of the court are not right. They are fair and just, but only the sentiments, not the judgment. This decision to get the child admitted to another school should have been the decision of the child’s parents, not the court. The court should have continued the case against the school, considered all round sentiments of parents and the public and then given its decision. This decision of the court to get the child admitted elsewhere is pure and simple injustice. The court should reconsider the decision in the interest of, not only students of this particular school, but students and parents of all other schools as well.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Political views-Nationwide strike on 5th July

The BJP-Shive Sena called strike on 5th July, Monday, was successful, that is successful for politicians, not ordinary people, ‘aam admi’ as they call them. I truly wonder if even ten percent of people and politicians alike, who called the Bandh and participated actively in it, understand mathematics of price rise or basics of petrol prices. I for one, don’t.

That is not to say that I support price rise. I too am affected by it. The point I want to drive home is, these people did not call the strike for the benefit of general public. Ordinary, law abiding citizens won’t benefit from it. They called this strike for their own purposes. From the Media showing news on several channels, it was apparent that none of the politicians was serious. I suspect if they knew or even cared for the gravity of this strike or price rise itself. They were laughing and calibrating as if this was some occasion to celebrate.

In one channel I saw Nitin Gadkari with his bloated, balloon like face addressing people about price rise. He was smiling ear to ear. Does it appear that the price rise has affected him? None of these so called well wishers of aam adami is affected by rising prices. Those who are affected, are further affected by this Bandh.

My contention is, let people deal with it. Let them show their displeasure en masse. After all, they dealt with the wrong judgment in Jessica Lall and SPS Rathod’s case, and successfully at that. None of these politicians showed their displeasure at those judgments or injustice meted out to the victims, leave alone declare a strike. People dealt with them and with striking triumph. If the likes of Mr. Gadkari, Mr. Advani and party are really worried about the woes of aam adami, let them sit on hunger strike against price rise and shed some kilos from their bulging bodies. This, I am sure will benefit both- aam adami and politicians. What say?


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Politically incorrect-Pawarspeak

“I will discuss with the Prime Minister about my responsibilities….. I may suggest having more hands to help me. I had asked for three more ministers but they have given me one.” Thus spake our honorable minister Sharad Pawar.

This is Pawar’s response to various all round criticism against his posting as the ICC chief. Now the surprising factor is, his own statement above suggests that so far, for all this time he was not aware of his responsibilities as Agriculture Minister. The Prime Minister will have to spell them out. Like when an employer employs a new employee, he (employer) outlines the employee his duties. So far Mr. Pawar was waiting for our Prime Minister to allot him his duties. Result? Price rise and total chaos in agriculture and food sector.

As if that was not enough, he is now appointed as chief of ICC. I always thought Pawar is thick skinned. I am positive now. If and when our Prime Minister outlines his responsibilities, Pawar does not say he will carry them out. He says he will suggest having more ministers under him. Yes, quite right, the number of the helping hands he will ask for, depends on the quantum of work he is asked to do. You, by any chance, do not expect him to work himself, do you?

Meanwhile, our dear Agriculture Minister has many a mile to go and many a mountains to scale. Now that he is in BCCI and ICC on top of being a minister, it is but natural that he expands his sphere. Why, there is football to capture as the sport is gaining ground next to cricket. Then there is hockey to look at, as KPS Gill is unable to do much, if anything for the game. And hockey being our national game, it may require Pawar’s immediate attention. Of course, next in line is shooting. Now that Bindra has shown us some hope, all that the game needs is Pawar’s push. And how on earth can he ignore badminton? Since Saina Nehwal has given us three consecutive wins, it is only fair Pawar gives the game due attention it deserves. Where do agriculture and food stand in the big picture? So much to do and no helping hands? ‘Bahut na insaafi hai.’


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Politically incorrect-The Name game

So, Mayawati has changed the name of Amethi, Gandhis’ constituency and strong hold, to Chhatrapati Sahuji Maharaj, a dalit icon. It doesn’t matter that few, if any, outside Maharashtra know who Sahuji Maharaj was.

It appears that Lady Mayawati is done with the game of her statues. Little did she realize that the game of statues had limited shelf life and even more limited attention span, so she started a new game of changing names, those of places. This game, she probably thought, had unlimited time span, if the game is not limited to changing names of places only. It has a much wider scope if Mayawati uses her imagination.

Presently, she has changed the name of Amethi to Chhatrapati Sahuji Maharaj. What next? Plenty, if you ask me. To make this game more interesting, she can change the name of Delhi to Shahjahanabad. The Delhi administration may not agree. But, never mind. Mayawati can always pass state resolution that as far as U.P. was concerned, Delhi, hence forth shall be known as Shahjahanabad, for all intent and purpose.

To widen the game’s scope, she can change her own name from Mayawati to Mamata Banerjee and that of Mamata to Mayawati as far as the state of U.P. was concerned, though Mamatadidi may not agree. To take it further, Manmohan Singh shall be called L.K.Advani and vice versa in U.P. Make it more adventurous. Osama bin Laden, henceforth, shall be known as Barak Obama and Barak Obama as Osama Bin Laden. Don’t bother if those concerned do not agree, she can always pass state resolution.

The game is fun and the scope is endless. One can go as far as one’s imagination goes. One question though, if Her Ladyship decides to change the name of her state or of the country itself, what shall it be?

Any guesses? How about Mayanagari and Mayadesh?


Monday, July 12, 2010

Current Affairs-Full time job

Sharad Pawar takes over as ICC chief, as reported in news papers. Good, no, rather excellent. Congratulations to Pawar. In this otherwise pleasant outcome, the only unpleasant aspect is the statement of Malcom Speed, to the effect that Sharad Pawar is the Minister of Agriculture which is a serious full time job, that he will be working part-time as ICC President and that he knows little about cricket administration.

The last part of the statement that Pawar knows little about cricket administration is significant. It shows how ignorant Speed is with Pawar’s ways. The counter question Pawar may ask is ‘what is there to know about cricket administration? It is same as any other administration like agriculture, NCP, Mumbai cricket, BCCI, you name it. You simply attend meetings, celebrations, support Modi and travel wherever the game goes.’ Right, Mr. Pawar, for administrative work, there are always lackeys. The trick is to know when to wash your hands off Modi.

Sharad Pawar, the sugar baron, NCP chief and now ICC chief laughs at Speed’s innocence. He knows nothing about agriculture, little about cricket, and very little about international cricket, except watch it, if that. But look here Mr. Speed, he is on top in all the fields of his choice. You think Mr. Speed that Pawar made his millions by working as a minister or a sports chief? You are na├»ve. His time is spent on flying here, there, and where. Yes, making sure that his kin and relatives get profitable portfolios and keeping adversaries at bay is a full time job.

Then how does he manage NCP, agriculture, BCCI and now ICC. Elementary, my dear Mr. Speed, quite elementary. Manipulation and that too, is more than a full time job.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Politically incorrect-Self obsessed KRK

The previous article on Lalit Modi reminds me of yet another character, Kamal Rashid Khan, a small time actor, who thinks he is Clint Eastwood of the modern times. He calls himself KRK, walking on the foot-prints of Shah Rukh Khan, who is called SRK. The only difference apart from physical appearance is that in the case of Shah Rukh, media has put the tag of SRK, whereas Kamal Khan has opted to declare himself as KRK. At times it appears from his behavior that he is more talented than SRK, Amitabh and Aamir khan, all put together and has better physique then Salman and Hritik. He has never seen his face and physique properly in the mirror. Now, imagine his face without his neck and trunk. It is small and round. Draw three-four big black lines on his upper lip. You have a face of a cat, not a human.

This great Kamal Rashid Khan a.k.a. KRK famously declared on a TV show he was participating in, that other participants were jealous of him because he was so rich that ‘his water comes from France and milk comes from Spain.’ KRK forgot to declare where his food comes from. And what about air which he breaths? Air in India is supposed to be most contaminated. I suppose he gets it from Mount Kilimanjaro.

I keep wondering about his other daily needs. He should bath in Japan (Japanese baths are famous), to relieve himself he should grace the desert land of Dubai and one would imagine him squatting in Alps. The fact is that the great Kamal Rashid Khan a.k.a. KRK is a self obsessed, narcissist. People of Lucknow or Delhi wherever he stays, should kick his butt and throw him to the wolves. But, here too, he would prefer an American kick, I suppose.


Friday, July 2, 2010

Celebrity news-Maharaja Modi

The news that our highly respected Sri Lalit Modi spent Rs. Forty lakhs on taxi bills during IPL.3 season, amounting to almost Rs. one lakh a day. Not much and not unexpected, if you consider the status of His Highness. His Lordship used B.M.W. and Mercedes Benz of certain class only. If news is to be believed, on one occasion, Modi went to Dharamshala by air and his car was sent ahead from Delhi to meet him at the airport. On another occasion, his car was sent from Hyderabad to Nagpur which took him to the stadium merely ten minutes drive away. We should thank our stars that His Highness did not ‘air lift’ his preferred cars where ever he went.

What do you expect from a man who, when barely in his teens was involved in kidnapping and drugs, that too on foreign land, and who married a woman who was his mother’s friend and more then a decade older then him? It speaks volumes for his character. A friend remarked: “He was saved because of the Modi empire tag. Left on his own, no body will employ him even as a watch man of a building.” Right, we got the picture.

This Modi episode reminds me of a book titled “Maharaja” written by Diwan Germaidas, years back. Diwan Germaidas, as the name suggests, was a Diwan of a Maharaja of an erstwhile princely state. He was witness to the habits and whims of several Rajas and Nawabs, he came into contact with, including his own Maharaja. Some were fond of collecting Rolls Roy cars, some wanted beautiful women in their Harem, some got their favorite fruits flown in daily from foreign countries, some spent astronomical sums on their pets’ weddings, some were legendary misers and some were generous to a fault.

Our Modi Maharaja chap is like them. He likes to travel in style, only in B.M.W. and Mercedes Benz. Never mind his personal class. He likes to travel in style, stay in style, of course, at the expense of the BCCI, not his own.

As they say: “Shaukh hon to Modi jaise hon,varna na hon.” (If you have habits, have them like Modi or don’t have them). AMEN.

Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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