Saturday, February 27, 2010

Political views-Madhu Koda

Ex-chief minister of Jharkhand, Madhu Koda has gone on record to declare that he is a poor tribal being unnecessarily harassed by the authority.

Rightly so. His counter part, ex-chief minister of Bihar, our very own Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav was involved in the fodder scam of Rupees nine hundred crores. That was years back. Considering the inflation since, this scam of four thousand crores is nothing. So Koda considers himself poor.

On top of this, authorities are keen to make him face economic offence directorate for questioning. How inconsiderate? He has two solid reasons not to face the enquiry. One, as soon as he was found to have bungled money, he conveniently fell ill. How can you question a person who is not well? Second, his wife is standing in elections. So, he wants to campaign for his wife. It is his solemn duty to stand by his wife. His wife is not involved in any scandal. Ours being a democratic nation, he has every right to help his wife in time of her need, scam or no scam.

In case his wife wins this election, government can make as many enquiries as it likes. Where is the harm? More then half of Koda’s ill-gotten wealth is already safe, invested in foreign countries. If nothing happened to Lalu Yadav, how can anything happen to Madhu Koda? That will be injustice. Even after proved guilty, Lalu enjoys one ministry or the other, so will Koda. More so, because he is a tribal. Even if there is a token trial and a token sentence and even if all his wealth in this country is seized, he can bank upon his investments outside this country when he comes out of prison, that is, if at all he goes to prison, which is unlikely.

In long and short: By all means get involved in scams. But they should be long scams. And in short, invest in foreign shores. You will be as safe as ever. Enjoy your scam.

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Celebrity news-Life immortal

So, Ray Kurzweil has predicted that nanotechnology will allow us to reverse our age and we can live life forever. This target, according to Kurzweil, can be achieved by year 2029. Too close for comfort. Kurzweil, who is considered by Bill Gates as “ the smartest futurist on earth”, has declared that nanotechnology will allow us to be free of all diseases and we will continue to live a healthy and happy life forever.
Now let us consider our very own and beloved Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav opting for nanotechnology. Already, he is blessed with two short of cricket eleven as far as his offspring are concerned and that too without any nanotechnology. With this new technology on his side and with no time limit, he will have as many dozens as he has singles now. The nation may have trouble feeding so many mouths but Lalu will have no such problem with fodder in his pocket.
If, the most beautiful woman in the world, Aishwarya Rai remains as beautiful and desirable with the help of this nanotechnology, the world will topple upside down. It is said that such beauty occurs once in several generations. If Aishwarya Rai retains her beauty through this reverse age technic, it is possible that great great great grandsons of say, Salman Khan or Vivek Oberoi may vie for her hand, instead of someone their own age. This is dangerous and outright amoral.
And in our cherished city of Mumbai, housing societies, instead of accommodating two hundred families in as many flats, will have only one in the entire society with generations of a single family staying together. The societies will not be known as Diamond Complex or Silver Complex etc. They will be known as Kapur Complex and Parekh Complex.
All that is very well, but, where will the food come for so many? Our nation and the entire world for that matter, is struggling with over population. Where will the animals go as we will be occupying all the land and forests? The world will be a fine place with this nanotechnology. So let us, all of us request Mr. Kurzweil to let the world be.

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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Crime-Dr. Pilani

One more person, Dr. Pilani, is accused of illegal kidney transplants. According to news in papers, Hindustan Times of 18th Dec., he is supposed to have transplanted two hundred kidneys. Dr. Pilani was arrested in Oct. 2007 for this crime.
Strange are the ways of our councils, whether judicial or medical or any other for that matter. Even after committing and subsequently confessing his crimes, the present status is that, Dr. Pilani is out on bail along with his co-accused. Not only that, he is allowed to practice his profession as a general physician. Initially, his license as a medical practitioner was suspended in Aug. 2008. Later, in July 2009, it was revoked for unknown reasons. Strange indeed, for this Dr. Pilani out on the streets on bail, is more dangerous then any murderer. His act of transplanting kidneys tantamounts to attempted murders, yet, he is free and practicing.
Since Dr. Pilani promised Rs. Five lacs to his victims, it is safe to assume that he must have demanded and got at least four times that amount from his clients. It is a different matter that he paid pittance to his victims. So, at a guess, he must have earned 15 Lacs from each of his two hundred clients. That amounts to cool thirty crores, no less, at the cost of 200 labourers’ lives. God only knows how many of them have survived.
And the good doctor is out on bail, his medical license duly revoked to further his trade with the help of our judicial system and our medical councils. Strange are our ways indeed. Any other country would have put him in gas chamber pronto. But not India. Good luck to Dr. Pilani.

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Friday, February 19, 2010

Indian politics-Telangana

The government had earlier decided to form another state, Telangana, from Andhra Pradesh. Opposition parties were sour and were protesting against this move of the ruling congress party. Now the Congress says ‘no new state in haste.’

All very well for the opposition and coalition partners to protest. They claimed that the Congress did not take them into confidence. But what could the government do? It was helpless against fasting Chandrashekhara who declared fast unto death. How could the government let him die on them? Even while hanging a hardened criminal on noose, the authority asks that person about his last wish and tries solemnly to grant it. This was the last wish of dying Chandrashekhara and he is no hardened criminal. How could the government ignore his last petty wish of a separate state? It is a different matter that he didn’t die. It is a different matter that he is known as an utterly selfish politician who frequently changes parties. So what? It is the duty of the government to fulfill his last wish and it tried to do it. Now if others follow suit and try enacting this drama, so be it.

In long and short, you announce a long fast unto death for your wish to be granted by the government, but your fast will be short as the powers that be will grant your wish, any wish, before long. Rest assured.


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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Celebrity news-Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari

Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari sacrifices a goat daily in order to ward off the “evil eye” and protection from “black magic”. Since 2008, when he moved into presidency, hundreds of poor animals have been sacrificed.

Still, he is in trouble. In fact, more so then earlier, that is, prior to those sacrifices. Poor Zardari, the higher being has not accepted his offerings, so it seems.

Zardari is on the wrong track. To begin with, he should have offered ten percent of the ill-gotten ten percent he collected from every big deal, to the deity he believes in. If that did not work, only then he should have offered sacrifices. But, not of the kind he did. Instead of poor, hapless animals, he should have sacrificed his own limbs and organs one by one on daily basis. For example, one finger each day, then hands and so on. Two things could have happened. By this time, he could have successfully warded off the “evil eye” and gotten protection against “black magic”. Alternatively, he could have sacrificed his whole being and there by getting rid of all worldly miseries.

The result of the second possibility would have been much better. Pakistan, Zardari’s beloved country, would have been better off without Zardari’s own “evil eyes” and “black magic”.

Amen.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Politically incorrect-SPS Rathore

Our public and our news papers are making hue and cry about the fact that former DGP. S.P.S. Rathore and his wife were smiling shamelessly while coming out of the court. Why shouldn’t they smile? Rathore has achieved so much in life, has been promoted and awarded for his distinguished services, by the government.

But, if you ask me, he has been awarded for all the wrong reasons. Our government has failed to honor him for his other much higher achievements.

First, Rathore successfully molested a fourteen year old girl, rather a child, of his own daughter’s age. Great success.

Second, he succeeded in throwing the girl out of her school for daring to make a police complaint against him.

Third, Rathore managed to threaten and compel Ruchika’s entire family to leave Panchkula and move elsewhere, thereby managing to destroy the family.

Fourth, he succeeded in getting Ruchika’s brother arrested and charged for car thefts that he never committed.

He managed to drive Ruchika to commit suicide.

Last, but not the least and most important: Rathore managed to not only continue in his job, and get promotions and awards, he relentlessly dedicated nineteen years to fight his case ( inspite of the fact that he had other police duties )and came scot-free out of the court.

Rathore’s achievements are greater than any Olympian winning gold medals. But the government has failed to recognize these super heroic deeds.

In long and short: Middle class families like Ruchika’s should be prepared for life time battle to fight the might of rich and influential. If we want justice, persons like Rathore should be given instant reward, by allowing public to lynch them, like some Muslim countries do.

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Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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