Sunday, December 26, 2010

Crime-Hi flying thieves

Times have changed, and how? I am from the old school and not very comfortable with this fast paced computer age. Till yesterday, I thought ‘thievery’ was a high risk and no investment business. All a thief required was nimble fingers and lot of courage, or so I thought. How wrong I was, is proved by yesterday’s news that four men from well to do families from North India would fly to Mumbai every week, stole or rob homes and flew back to their homes. Remember, they did this every week. I have never felt so strongly that I have been standing at one place and time has flown by.

Anyway, let us take business angle of this high flying occupation into consideration. Four persons flying in and out of this city would cost them at least Rupees one Lakh per visit what with hotel accommodation, transportation and such other expenses. That again means that they invested Rupees one Lakh every time they traveled into the city to steal and with no guarantee of success. That is investment and a high risk one, if you ask me. It is reasonable to expect that other legitimate ventures with little risk make profit of ten to twenty five per cent to survive, depending upon their nature of business. Now these four men’s business is that of high risk and also high investment, by all standards. So the profit should at least be a hundred percent, if not more to justify that risk and investment. For that, they probably have to scan the place they are going to do their ‘business’ in and make sure that the place has enough booty to justify the effort. Earlier, a thief used to enter any home or shop at random and took whatever was available to him, be it Rs. five, five hundred or five thousand, every thing was profit to him and the next day was another day.

Not so now. The house or the place they enter must be worth two Lakhs in terms of goods or cash available to steal. As such this business too has become sophisticated what with proper planning, proper scanning, proper investment, proper vehicles, proper clothes, proper equipments and may be proper education? What next? In times to come it may gain proper respectability, who knows.

Times have changed indeed.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Indian politics-Scamathon

Rupees one lakh seventy six thousand crore. To read, this is just a number in news paper prints. But just imagine the magnitude of this amount. Ours is a country of scams- Adarsh society scam, Common Wealth Games scam, Lalu’s fodder scam, Mayawati’s Taj corridor scam, Telgi scam, IPL Modi scam, Vedurappa scam, Harshad Mehta scam, 2G Spectrum scam, Justice Sen scam and now the latest in line, LIC and nationalized banks’ scam. You name it, we have it. In this marathon race of scams A.Raja of 2G scam wins the race hands down. Most of these scamsters are moving scot-free and even enjoying their ill gotten wealth.

Most of our politicians come into politics with the sole aim of making money. How they make it is of no consequence. There may be few, in fact very few exceptions like our PM Manmohan Singh. But he too is guilty of a blind eye. A coalition government is a compromise government. In order to retain coalition PM too has to remain silent on certain issues. So these rare few honest persons too are not entirely above water. Alas, gone are the days of Sri Rajendra Prasad and Sri Lal Bahadur Shastri.

But it is all very well for us lesser mortals to blame politicians, bureaucrats etc. The temptations of making quick bucks through scams and kickbacks are too huge to ignore. No more a few thousand or a few lakhs. It is now a few crores, not to mention a few hundred or a few thousand crores. We who criticize them are probably jealous of them that they are in a position to make money and we are left behind. If we were in one of their positions, would we ignore an opportunity to make a few crores? Our projects are too big, ambitions too high, development too fast. The result is, it is very easy to siphon money and our system is too lazy to punish the guilty. Few people would be able to resist such an opportunity. Frankly, I for one would not. I would be tempted. But the grapes are sore.

Imagine this picture. An ordinary person earning a decent amount of Rupees one lakh a month with smallest possible family, will not be able to save more then twenty five-thirty thousand a month, that is, three lakhs a year. It will take his life time to save fifty lakhs, if that. But if you are in the right position, you can make a few crores, a few hundred crores in a year or even in a month, too huge a temptation to ignore. It would take Swami Vivekanand type of mindset and determination to remain aloof. Sadly, Swami Vivekanand types are not born anymore and if born, are not accepted and appreciated. Even our God men, Gurus and preachers are basking in money, staying in air conditioned Ashrams and moving in air conditioned cars. Sure, I am jealous and so are you.

Seriously, in all this, you and I are made to compensate for these scams by way of increased taxes, direct and indirect. The need of the hour is not to find honest politicians. You won’t find any, in this day and time. The need is to find a system of checks and balances. The need is to find expert economists and such other persons who can suggest full proof and transparent system of government spending, like we use valve to stop liking water. The need is punish the guilty without any delay and that punishment should be exemplary. And last but most important – the perpetrator or even a suspect, should be crippled financially immediately. All his properties, bank accounts, lockers etc. should be sealed and frozen till the judgment and that judgment should be prompt and severe.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Politically incorrect-Quick fix

Our courts insist that nobody should remain head of different sports organizations for unlimited period. Delhi high court has slammed politicians’ monopoly on sports associations. The order means IOA president Kalmadi and such others cannot seek re-elections. The high court suggested age limit of seventy years and maximum tenure of twelve years for such persons. Now our very dear Suresh Kalmadi, the doyen of Indian sports has been in straddle of IOA for more then fifteen years and yet, aspires for Asian Games and Olympic Games to be held in India under his leadership. Don’t ever think that Kalmadi is after money. Money is to be made of course, but that is secondary, not primary. While remaining head of IOA and recently CWG, he has acquired new skills which he wants to utilize in Asian and Olympic Games for the benefit of our nation.

Think it over, while Shiela Dikshit had to pray to the Almighty for success of our CWG, Kalmadi had no such fears. He was sure of the Games’ success. While taking all criticisms in his stride, he almost willed the Games into success.

But that is not the point. The point is, our government does not recognize real talent when it finds one. Take the case of Kalmadi. He has this unique talent to turn tables in a jiffy. Bridge collapsed? No problem. Kalmadi snaps his fingers and lo and behold, there is your bridge, as new as ever. His magical powers are not utilized elsewhere by our administrators. The powers that be should look beyond sports. You want our sacred river Ganga cleaned? Suppose the budget of Ganga cleaning is a thousand Crores and time limit is two years. You can rely on dear Kalmadi and sleep over the project for twenty months. Just wake up after twenty months and take time of about three months to move files. Then call Kalmadi at your convenience. He will move his magic wand and your Ganga will be as pure as ever in no time. The only negligible issue is that the project cost will have doubled. A minor hitch that, if you ask me.

Consider our Five Year Plans. Not a single of our FYP have succeeded or completed so far. We have never achieved our targets here because we have never cared to call Kalmadi to help us. If we call him, seek his blessings, all our FYP would be roaring success and what is more, we won’t have to work for five full years.

That is the moot point. Ignore Kalmadi and you are in trouble. If our administration can find ten people like him, and I am sure there are people out there, equally talented if not more then Kalmadi, our nation will be a much better place to live in.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Political views-Exemplary Tower

One meaning of ‘Adarsh’ is ‘exemplary’. In that sense Adarsh cooperative housing society in Colaba fits the bill. This society is exemplary of how a junior defense officer can build a tower on army land. Mr. R.C.Thakur has shown people of India, how a project meant for the benefit of war widows can be manipulated to benefit him as well as other bureaucrats. He has set an ‘Adarsh’ example of how to convert a project of six storey building into a thirty one. This ‘Adarsh’ project was cleared by two ministers- Sushilkumar Shinde and Vilasrao Deshmukh. C.M. Ashok Chavan’s mother-in-law too has a flat in the tower. Shinde has shown us how to dodge inconvenient questions by just keeping mum when asked about it. Deshmukh teaches us with exemplary ease how to forget one’s own misdeeds for he claims he doesn’t remember anything about the said project. Sri Jairaj Phatak has gone a step further and has set an example of how to open ‘phatak’ (door) for construction of 104 mts. from a mere permissible 30 mts. if his son gets a flat in the ‘Exemplary’ society.

Above all our state and central governments and various other agencies connected with clearing such projects have set an example of how to sleep when the wrong doing goes on and how to wake up after a few years of the completion of an illegal project. Now our dear Mr. Thakur has been careful enough to allot flats to the who’s who of our country so that eventually when the cracker bursts, he himself will be defended by these big shots. Last but not the least, Mr. Thakur has set an exemplary example of how to remain unmoved, how to smile through criticism, how to remain confident, how to remain unaffected though a CBI enquiry is on against him in another case and how to ignore his opponents with a scorn they deserve, exemplary indeed.

To copy a cement manufacturer’s ad:

Public: “Ye illegal building toot ti kyon nahin?”

Thakur: “Tootegi kaise? Shinde, Deshmukh, Chavan, Phatak. Admiral Madhavendra Singh, Maj. Genaral T. k. Kaul jaison ke ashirvad se jo bani hai.


Friday, November 12, 2010

Mera Bharat Mahan- Indian Rope Trick

Now that our CWG was a success, magician Kalmadi has expressed his desire to organize Olympic Games. Only a few days prior to CWG, our very own, dear and beloved Sheila Dikshit was quoted as saying: “I pray every night for the games’ success.” How touching. The fact is, there was a time when there was nothing left for her to do, for she wanted the job that was to be done in seven years, done in seven days. Only God could help her and she knew it. And what is more, God did help her.

In many parts of the world it is believed that India is a land of snakes, naked sadhus, magic and magicians. Our Rope Trick is very famous worldwide. Indeed, ours is a land of magicians. We have magicians like Dikshit, Kalmadi, Gill and not to forget, Jaipal Reddy. Now this magician, Reddy, our Urban Development minister, is unable to stand erect on his two feet. He has to take support of not one but two walking sticks, is given responsibility of our Common Wealth Games. We Indians have great faith in ourselves and our God. I am not surprised that the Games went well. One of our honorable minister and magician, M.S.Gill had suggested that the CWG was just like an Indian wedding. There is chaos all around Indian marriages, but in the end every thing is hanky dory. Nothing to worry about the Games, bridges may collapse, flushes may not work, toilets may be filthy, beds may not have enough strength to withstand human weight, but Games will happen and successfully at that. He is right. If the Games’ village was not ready, there were always five star hotels at our rescue, like England team never bothered to visit our Games’ village. They straight away checked into five star hotels. Just like that other teams would have found their own way if they are not comfortable at the village. Of course, there will be extra expenditure of a few crores, but what is money compared to our nation’s image? Jerks like you and me will pay extra taxes and super jerks like ministers, officials will spend lavishly. But Games will happen. Like Gill suggested on another occasion that there will be disasters, confusion, chaos, but somehow it will work out in the end. It always does. This is our way of doing things-Indian style. Indeed, India is a land of magicians.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Current affairs-Once upon a time

The bone in the form of Amit Shah is stuck in the throat of Narendra Modi and he is not able to either swallow it or throw it out. He is stuck with it. This reminds me of an old Panch Tantra story, “Once upon a time.”

Once upon a time there was this princess in a faraway kingdom, who was extremely beautiful. She was so lovely and fair that one could see water and milk slide down inside her beautiful throat. To her misfortune, one very ordinary tailor saw her and fell in love with her. He was so obsessed with her beauty and beautiful body that he lost his sleep, his hunger and his job and lusted day and night to possess the princess and her lovely body.

A skilled carpenter friend of the tailor took pity on him and made a wooden bird with his skill which could fly. The tailor prepared a dress for himself befitting God Vishnu. Now the tailor would fly himself on the bird at midnight and into the princess’s room. He introduced himself as God Vishnu and told her that he was highly impressed with her beauty and could not contain himself without seeing her. The innocent princess was beyond herself that the God himself was in love with her and so their affair started. They married secretly (Gandharvalagna) and the tailor made full use of the princess and her beautiful body.

But as it usually happens, rumor reached in the ears of the king that the princess was having an affair and somebody was visiting her bedroom daily after midnight. The king was aghast and asked his queen to find out the truth. The queen found all evidence of physical relations on the princess’ body. The king decided to punish his daughter severely to set correct moral example for his subject. Whereupon the princess declared that she had committed no sin and she was married to God Vishnu himself. The king was overjoyed that the princess was wife of the God and officially announced their marriage valid.

After a while the king thought that since the God himself was his son-in-law, he should extend his empire. Nobody can defeat God. So he asked all small and big kings to accept his superiority and pay taxes to him or face consequences. But some refused, so he set about the task of attacking such kingdoms and requested his son-in-law, actually a tailor, to lead his army.

The tailor thought that his days of pleasures were over. If he spoke the truth, the king would have his head cut off. If he didn’t, he would be killed in the war since he was not a warrior. With a heavy heart he bid good bye to the princess and proceeded for war.

Again luck was in his favor. God Narada told Lord Vishnu that people on earth thought that the tailor was God Vishnu that was you. People did not know the truth. Now if the tailor was defeated or killed, people would think that the God was defeated. So, Vishnu had to make this tailor win, otherwise nobody would worship him. Vishnu thought that Narad was right. So he entered the tailor’s body, fought the war and won all battles, though against his will.

Similar is the case of Narendra Modi. If Amit Shah is proved guilty and sentenced, Modi,s own image is at stake. So he has to defend Shah, like it or not. He (Modi) cannot afford to leave Shah to his fate, unlike Sharad Pawar who happily dumped Lalit Modi when the going got tough.


Monday, November 8, 2010

Indian politics-Haji Advani

I admire Sri Advani’s perseverance. He would do anything, absolutely anything to remain in limelight. The latest news being: “Advani woos Muslims and assures them of impartial governance if NDA returns to power.”

This is the same Advani who was not only instrumental, but one of the main players in the 1992 Babri Masjid demolition along with Uma Bharati. It has been accepted and proved almost beyond doubt that he was the main instigator in that ghostly episode. In fact Advani was there on the site itself coaxing kar sevaks to carry on with the demolition task and it is said that later, when the demolition was over, Advani and Bharati shared sweets on the site itself.

Now I have heard that politicians have thick skin or let us put it this way, if you have thick skin, only then you can aspire to become a politician. That is one fundamental requirement and Sri Advani takes the cake in that aspect. He has the thickest skin ever. This main culprit of the Masjid demolition should be ashamed of facing the Muslim community, instead now he is wooing them and begging them for votes. Thick skin and shameless indeed, this man can stoop to the lowest moral level if it serves his purpose.

Let us, for a moment, forget about Hindu-Muslim picture. Let us, for a while, think about historical importance of Babri Masjid, built more then four hundred years back by Babar. It was a place of tourist importance and all, Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christians and others visited the place. It could have been there for five hundred years more, gaining further importance but for Advani. He has destroyed a place of archeological importance, he has destroyed history.

What next? What would he do next to woo Muslim votes? I will not put it past him or be surprised, if, like his Rath Yatra, he performs Haj Yatra, and calls himself Haji Advani.


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Politically incorrect-India vs China

A few days back, our papers’ headlines shouted: “P.M. steps in, sets 24 hours deadline to fix games. Delhi hangs its head in shame. Almost every thing that can go wrong has gone wrong.”

This only eleven days before the games (CWG) started and seven years after India got the games in 2003. No surprises here. What can one expect when outdated, over aged, outlasted persons like Sheila Dikshit. Suresh Kalmadi, Lalit Bhanot and M.S.Gill are given responsibilities of such a huge adventure. Even our P.M. (with due respect to him), is not familiar with workings of the games. All the people mentioned above are useless if you look at the answers they gave to the public outcry. They are all, without exception, past their prime. Kalmadi, in particular, kept saying everything would be fine but did not bother to explain how. Whatever little success the game had seen was because of the efforts of people other than this foursome and a little bit of luck. About participants’ facilities and hygiene, the less said the better. And Kalmadi is totally silent about half the money spent on CWG either gone down the drain or into the pockets of various officials and that too without doing their job. Dollar ninety a piece toilet paper is just but one glaring example.

One of my friends, who is a student of China and Chinese culture for years, has some interesting comparisons to offer:

• India was offered CWG in 2003 and set on files for four years. Work started only in 2007. China, on the other hand, had all files cleared in first thirty days for their 2008 Olympic Games.

• In India organizing Committee had to run after different departments to clear their files and getting various permits. In China, the concerned department is answerable to the government if the files are not cleared in stipulated time.

• In China, work started immediately upon receiving various clearances. They worked at steady and constant pace, verifying the quality of work every now and then. India, on the other hand, started actual work four years too late, at an unsteady pace, never bothered to question or verify the quality of work by their contractors.

• China too had its share of mishaps and delays, but they had ample time to rectify their mistakes and faults. India always worked on war footing, compromising on quality and time.

• China was ready for the games much before the scheduled date (six months according to some), had rigorous trials of venues. India had to be ordered by the PM, no less, to step up our speed when the games were a week away.

• Last and most interesting, guilty are taken to task immediately in China, no delay there. Action against guilty is prompt and severe. India promises to take action after the games are over and that too, at the pace at which preparations of the games progressed.

However, there is one major benefit in India which China cannot match. Quite a few people connected with the games have become rich overnight. No small feat t


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Current affairs-Hall of fame

Mr. Rajsingh and Mr. Desraj suddenly find themselves in the hall of fame. Now you will ask “who are they, politicians, actors, sports persons or comedians?” Actually, none of these, they are watchmen. So, what’s the big deal? There are hundreds and thousands of watchmen all around. They are the highest paid watchmen in our country. They get Rs. 30000 as monthly salary. I have seen watchmen drawing Rs. three thousand, five thousand, ten thousand and even fifteen thousand Rupees in some high end societies. But thirty thousand? I doubt even a bank clerk gets that kind of money to begin with. So, they must be celebrities.

But wait. The story doesn’t end there. There is a twist in the tale. Both these gentlemen are employees of the Sports Authority of India. Northern Centre, Chandigarh. Now they are made to guard the bungalow of our Sports Minister, M. S. Gill. They are paid by S.A.I. and that means tax payer’s money and that in turn means your and my money, but they watch and protect Gill’s house. Of course, they occasionally go to S.A.I office, randomly mark their attendance and hey presto, back to Gill’s house.

We all have heard and read about several types of scams involving the Common Wealth Games, but this is a new one. Want a watchman? Want a servant? Want a cook perhaps? Get one appointed by S.A.I. or any other government department, let him draw his salary from there and a decent salary at that, mark his attendance there, come to your house and work for you and your family. Quite a game, suits everyone. We are sure other people will follow suit, and why not? Look at it this way. New avenues of employment are generated, several unemployed persons will get employment. Have positive attitude.

The irony is, after exposure of scams and delays in our Common Wealth Games, Mr. M.S.Gill, along with our Prime Minister none less, is given responsibility of overseeing the working of the games which are to be held soon. This is a nice beginning: “you look after my house I look after your games.” I, for one, would love such an opportunity. But chances are nil, no harm in dreaming though.


Friday, August 20, 2010

Politically incorrect-Kaun banega Scampati

This is the age of TV and computers. Eons ago it started with Stone Age, then Iron Age and then probably Plastic age. Now currently TV is in vogue. An average person with regular working hours spends four to five hours watching TV in a day. We have a choice of so many different shows that it is difficult to mention them all here. One of the popular subjects happens to be that of Quiz. In quiz programs also there are several variations, but let us not get into them. For the present, we will stick to “Kaun banega crorepati”, in which one question is asked on TV with three-four options in reply. If you SMS your reply correctly, you get a chance to play the game live on TV in Mr. Bachchan’s darbar. Here you are asked questions one by one by Mr. Bacchan in his inimitable style and you keep on winning higher amounts with your correct answers and the final reward is Rs. one crore, hence the title “Kaun banega crorepati”.

Now, this also happens to be the age of scams. You open any paper in the morning and you will find not one or two, but several scams perpetrated by ordinary and not so ordinary people. Just so you get an idea-Madhu Koda scam, Satyam scam, Lalu’s fodder scam, Mayawati’s Taj Corridor scam, mining scams, housing scams, the list is endless. You name it, we have it. But the latest is the Common Wealth Games scam. It is the current flavor of the season.

So we thought, why not a quiz on scams on TV? Questions asked will be about scams only. You don’t have to work your way to death as in open general knowledge quiz. Here is a subject with one thing to focus on-scams-, just like history, geography, psychology, one target. One question will be asked on TV with three options, for example:
“What was the amount involved in Madhu Koda scam? Your options are a) 4000 crores b) 2000 crores and c) 1000 crores.” The one, whose answer is quickest and correct, will continue with further questions.

And here is the master stroke. You will not get your bumper prize in cash if all your replies are correct. The bumper prize will be: you will be made a member of the organizing committee of the Common Wealth Games and that too in the department of your choice. Exciting, isn’t it? In previously announced prize, you get one crore at the most and the game is over. In this game, you get entry into several departments of the Common Wealth Games like sports equipments, transport, housing, catering, uniforms, gifts, medals, roads, the choice is yours. The game is scam, you scam as much as you want. There are thousands of crores to scam at your disposal. No questions asked. It all depends on your aptitude and intelligence. How is this quiz for a change? So, get set and go.


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Indian politics-Burning Gujarat

Gujarat is burning, thanks to Mr. Modi. In his over enthusiasm of vibrant Gujarat, Modi has shaken and burnt Gujarat. Gujaratis, as a rule, are industrious and peaceful community, not prone to violence, but not our dear Mr. Modi. Apart from Sohrabuddin, Kausarbi and Prajapati, there are many skeletons in his cupboard.

Modi’s latest claim that the transfer of Sohrabuddin encounter case outside Gujarat is an insult to Gujarat judiciary, is dismissed by Congress spokesman Abhishek Singhvi as a ‘drama’, and rightly so. His chief right hand, left hand and what not, Amit Shah, whom he (Modi) had given a free hand, believed in removing (eliminating?) people who caused inconvenience. Now it turns out that several ministers were involved in extortion rackets, including Mr. Shah. One Mohammad Azam has claimed that ex-home minister Mr. Kataria had taken Rs. Ten crores from a marble trader to eliminate Sohrabuddin. Why? Sohrabuddin collected ransom for Amit and now caused inconvenience. So he was the first to go. Next, Kausarbi was picked up with Sohrabuddin, hence her existence was inconvenient. She went next. Then Prajapati was witness to the couple’s arrest and was the last inconvenience in this particular episode. He was eliminated and they thought the slate was clean. Now Azam too fears for his life. Right from Gujarat riots (worst in history), to this Sohrabuddin murder, Modi has dirtied his hands. His guilt of involvement is almost proved.

Yet, Modi is having a field day. How does he continue in the post is a million Dollar question and shame to our nation. However, I will give this to Mr. Modi. He has firmly stood behind Amit Shah, claiming his innocence, no matter what. Unlike Mr. Sharad Pawar, who backed Lalit initially when the going was good, but left Lalit high and dry at first sign of trouble, when warned by Congress. Not our Mr. Modi. Now the only thing left to be done by Mr. Modi is to accompany Amit Shah in jail on matter of principle.

That also reminds me that a few years back Mr. Modi considered himself a candidate for the Prime minister’s post. BJP too had him in mind and almost declared him a candidate. Had Mr. Advani, with his one leg in the morgue had not interfered, for he himself was yearning for the post, Modi might as well have. I shudder to think if the likes of Modis and Mayawatis enter the fray, God help our country, that is, if HE can.


Friday, August 13, 2010

Mera Bharat Mahan ...

Mera Bharat mahan, 100 me se 99 beiman


I am not happy to say the above, but it is reality. India could have been developed country by now if our politicians and bureaucrats have not been corrupt and dishonest.

Though I am writing all this out of my frozen turbulence, I would like to pinpoint the exact problem and the solution for the problem.

The government of India has spent thousands of crores of rupees in many five year plans and other projects since independence for the common man and welfare of the people of India. But hardly 10% of this money has been actually used for the purpose it was meant for and rest went into the pockets of bureaucrats and politicians. If you add all this money and divide it by the no. of people below poverty line then each family could have been given Rs.5 lakhs and if this money have been kept on their name in a fixed deposit they would have received Rs.5000 as monthly interest and there would have been no poor in India.

No government work in India is done without corruption. Politicians and bureaucrats can behave as king (I always tell India does not have democracy but dynasty rule where it has many kings in form of politicians and bureaucrats). All this is possible because we have FAULTY SYSTEM of governance, laws and rules which can work only if office bearers are honest. So we need to change rules, laws so that accountability, time frame to complete work, punishment etc. gets well defined and described in each law and rule.And monitoring and punishment power to be given to the people for which the work is carried out.

Now the problem is power to change the system lies in the hand of these kings and and they will never change it because if they do so their income coming from corruption will stop and they will get punishment. So we all common man, NGO, media should focus only on demanding ‘SYSTEM CHANGE ‘, rather than doing patch work for each problem.

Media, NGOs and people together can highlight this and built great pressure on the government to change the system.

SOLUTION TO ALL PROBLEMS can be as follows :-

1) Media should never publish statements of politicians (there job is to lie continuously) on front page if it is not useful to common man. If they think it is important, they should publish it in inside page. At the same time any actual work done for the betterment of the people should be published on front page.

2) NGOs are doing good charity work but what they do is take donation from us, say for education, and give education to poor children. But each of us have already paid for this through government taxes. So focus of NGO should be to find out where that money has gone? E.g. on government papers expenses may be shown for building a school, repairing a school, paying salary to teacher but if you actually go there and check there will be no school or teacher. They can use RTI (right to information act) and take help of media to highlight this. Let the money we have already paid, go to right place.

I would also like to tell you that Britishers were doing administration honestly and intelligently. Take example of Mumbai city we are still using infrastructure which they have built (like railway line, drainage system, water pipeline), 100 years ago. Compare their honesty, vision with our politicians and bureaucrats. Our politicians and bureaucrats just have very high ego, they do only those work which pays them ransom (not bribe) and that (the work) too of poor quality. And they are not accountable or punishable because of faulty system.

3) People should demand and support SYSTEM CHANGE in all possible ways.

Hence it is my request to all of you on this independence day to pass on this to as many people as you can and raise your voice for SYSTEM CHANGE to really make Mera Bharat Mahan.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

Politically incorrect-Dog's life

The latest news or no news is: “Model detained after her pet urinates in the building. Model Rupali Suri is alleged to have been detained like a criminal.” So far so good.

Till now I was under the impression, may be I am wrong, that this pet creating such mischief business was being looked after by BMC. The police who are quite famous for not doing their duty now appear willing to accept this additional burden. BMC people must be relieved.

As the sequence of events go first, Miss Suri’s dog, Don, makes a puddle on the stairs of their residential building. It’s a residential building mind it, not a public property. Next, Miss Suri, as she should, wipes it clean with a disinfectant. I believe, as a man of common sense, that the matter should have ended there. But the thinking of police totally differs from mine. About an hour after the incident occurred, two police officials came and took Miss Suri to the police station. If you are robbed, the police are known to arrive after three hours, if a dog makes a puddle, they will reach pronto.

Anyway, Suri was made to wait and questioned for three hours. May be they were after information as to the size and shape of the puddle, its quantity, chemical formation etc. for reference. After that Suri was fined Rs. Twelve hundred for the crime she had not committed and to cap it all, the receipt did not specify what she had been charged for. The police said she had been fined under BMC act and not the police act. Now, the BMC act clearly states that in such cases if the owner of the pet clears the mess, he or she is not fined.

Here is the irony: if a human being makes a mess, and he is entitled to make a mess on road, walls, tracks, in fact where ever he wishes to, he is not fined, and goes scot-free. But a pet is expected to behave sensibly or is fined twelve hundred Rupees. Consider this, that a dog is more sensible, more disciplined and so it is expected to maintain some decorum or else is punished. A human being, on the other hand, is considered lesser then a dog and as such is not expected to maintain a dog’s standards, is pitied upon and allowed to spray walls or whichever place he fancies. He is not a dog after all.


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Indian politics-Wild life photography

I bow my head to the technology in its modern form, specially, camera footage in its frozen form. For, it denies opportunity to the perpetrator of an act later, in this instance, an ugly act like that of congress woman, Jyoti Kumari.

The photographer of Hindustan Times should be rewarded- no, he should be awarded- for the freeze photo of Gamla (flower pot) throwing Jyoti Kumari. In this photograph, words are not required, the expressions on her face say it all. I will not expect such wild facial features on the face of even a Shaki Kapoor, leave alone a lady. The expressions on Jyoti Kumari are those of a wild animal fully aware that the prey is weak and not going to be able to defend itself, in this case security guards of the assembly, poor creatures. The ferocity on her face alone should fetch the photographer an international award. Sure of her ground, she was breaking pot after pot and I suspect that she was screaming her head and thumping her chest like Tarzan, though I am not sure. But of course, one should not forget that it was Lalu’s Bihar. Anything can happen there. It is fortunate that she didn’t carry one of those pots inside the house and break it on the speaker’s head. Expressions on her face suggested that she was capable of doing just that. Form now on, helmets will be mandatory in the house.

Later, on CNN-IBN, she explained that her act of throwing those gamlas was in her own defense, never bothering to declare against what or whom. But what can one expect from a State in which Lalu’s brother or his brother-in-law, compelled an entire train to be shifted to the platform on which His Highness was standing ignoring that schedules of several trains would be affected and thousands of passengers would suffer. What is worse was Lalu’s reaction: “Such small things happen. It is nothing. He is in power. Kahe nahin karega bhai. (why shouldn’t he do it).” Well so another small thing has happened, courtesy Jyoti Kumari.

On a lighter note, I wonder if our respected lady Robin Hood Jyoti Kumari is married and has children. I pity her husband and children, for they must always remain alert and keep themselves out of her range lest she throws flower pots at the drop of a hat at jet set speed.

Finally and jokes apart, in all seriousness I bow my humble head to the photographer for that excellent wild life image.


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Politically incorrect-Terrorism diversified

Pakistan is playing with India like a cat plays with a mouse. That Pakistan is not interested in peace prevailing between the two nations is obvious. But still India prefers to play in their hands. Pakistan’s foreign minister, Shah Mehmood Qureshi equated our Home secretary with Hafiz Sayeed, the dreaded terrorist. Our Mr. Krishna could say nothing in response. It is apparent that Pakistan is going through the motions because of the pressure from the US.

Now it appears that Pakistan have found new ways and means to infiltrate information and recruit terrorists in India, in which even US can’t do anything. One of our lady IFS officers, by the name of Madhuri Gupta, spied for Pakistan for love. It is said and truly at that, that love knows no boundaries. Miss Gupta, an Indian, wanted to marry one Jamshed, her handler. And so she spied for him. While Gupta was lovelorn, Jamshed remained Jamshed, that is, just her handler. It is quite apparent that Jamshed was using her. This is also a kind of infiltration, only more dangerous. One Madhuri caught? Never mind, they will find others.

Next, one Hindu boy by the name of Subhash from Rajna village, has been converted into a Muslim and is renamed Wasim who has become a dreaded terrorist. It is said that this Subhash fellow fell in love with a Muslim girl much like Miss Gupta fell for a Muslim man. Hizb-UL-Mujahideen promptly saw opportunity and asked the boy to convert and join them, if he wants to set eyes on his lady love ever again. Subhash converted, joined them and turned against his own people and terrorized them. His fate, so far as his love and marriage is concerned, is not known. What is known is that his dread is more then those of Pakistani terrorists. So Pakistan has found yet another method of recruiting people. This suits them because earlier, they risked lives of their own people, now our people do their job for them.

While India believes in the policy of peace and negotiations, Pakistan continues to do what it wants to do only their modus operandi is different.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Celebrity news-Sachin's blood in a book

“For Rs. 35 lakhs (75000 US$) get a book with Sachin’s (Tendulkar) blood on a page” scream news paper headlines. The titanic book weighs 37 kgs and has 852 pages in all. Titled Tendulkar Opus, it will have a ‘signature page’ with Tendulkar’s blood mixed with paper pulp. At a rough guess one page amounts to $ 88. Good business that.

It is rumored that ten people have already booked the mammoth edition. However it is not mentioned that those who deposited Rs. 35 lakh each are Indians or foreign nationals. However, this proves a universal point: “Fools are found everywhere.”

But let me make a guess. It is unlikely that any Indian would have bought the book, unless, of course, he is Vijay Mallaya or his ilk. It is unlikely that Reliance bros. would be interested. They are too smart for that. But suppose some Indian decides to have a copy, there is every chance that income tax people will go after him with a magnifying glass.

Anyway, that is for the super rich. But the publishers have not neglected us. For lesser mortals who are not so rich, but are rich enough to make fools of themselves, there will be an edition costing $2000 to $ 3000 a piece, and that, if your calculation is not up to the mark, let me tell you, will be around Rs. 1 lakh plus. I can’t afford that. Can you?

Let us forget ethics for the moment. What next? Tendulkar’s nails, both fingers’ and toes’ or hair from his body from which ever part you fancy, duly packed in sealed and temper proof packing, just like RBI issues proof coins in packing which can’t be pilfered and can be maintained for years to come.


Saturday, July 31, 2010

Octopus Paul

Our dear octopus Paul has done it again. Paul’s predictions through out the Foot ball World Cup turned out to be correct. In finals also, Paul’s prediction in favor of Spain was precise. Spain won. The sad part is that the Germans have declared Fatwa against the octopus and if the news is to be believed, they want to kill the genius. The fact of the matter is that Germans could not tackle the opponent team and want to take out their vent on the poor creature.

Our great country has a great tradition of giving great shelter to great and not so great souls in trouble, from time immemorial. Right from the early civilization when Lord Rama gave shelter to Vibhishana against Ravana’s wrath, to recent times when we are giving shelter to Taslima Nasreen of Bangladesh and many more in between. Now be a good sport and don’t ask why we could not protect or give shelter to our very own M.F. Hussain against radical elements and their Fatwas. The issue is politically complicated. Moreover, we have a tradition of giving shelters to outsiders and VIPs, insiders (our own nationals) and ordinary people, be damned.

However we have deviated form the point. We don’t know the present whereabouts of this phenomenon creature. We say phenomenon because we feel that in a manner, this Paul is superior to Nostradamus, the greatest future predictor of all times. Nostradamus predicted events to occur four hundred, five hundred years hence. A safe bet, I would say. Our dear octopus Paul predicts immediate future, within hours or days, easier to catch hold of him if he is wrong. So we can offer asylum to the octopus in our safe heaven against the German threat. But, we in India, have a tradition. If a snake is injured or killed, its lady snake follows the killer and takes revenge. I wonder if our dear octopus Paul has any beloved, Paulina in waiting. In this context I would certainly like to warn the Germans, of what would lie in store in waiting for them, should they still decide to harm innocent Mr. Paul. Let us be fair to opponents also.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Current affairs-High court's judgement

The Bombay High Court has dismissed the petition filed by Adhishree, a class nine student against Vibgyor High school. The school had expelled her because her parents protested against a fee hike last year. And that too, after collecting fee from the student, a whopping Rs. 80000/-, quite arbitrary on part of the school, to say the least.

The High Court declared that the trauma and stress the child had suffered will only increase if she is readmitted to the same school. The decision has been taken in the interest of the student. The High Court further ordered that no school will reject the child’s application on the ground of delay. To which one of the trustees of the school Rustam Kerawala responded that there will be ambience at the school for all students and the verdict of the court was in the interest of the child and all other students.

What Rustomjee really meant was that the judgment was in the interest of ‘this’ and all other schools which wanted to act arbitrarily. One Arundhati Chavan, president, PTA United Forum rightly observed: “It is the end of the road for parents who want to raise a voice against the wrongdoings of the school managements.” As it is, there is very little say of the parents in the working of not only this, but any school, for that matter.

This article is not to say that the sentiments of the court are not right. They are fair and just, but only the sentiments, not the judgment. This decision to get the child admitted to another school should have been the decision of the child’s parents, not the court. The court should have continued the case against the school, considered all round sentiments of parents and the public and then given its decision. This decision of the court to get the child admitted elsewhere is pure and simple injustice. The court should reconsider the decision in the interest of, not only students of this particular school, but students and parents of all other schools as well.


Friday, July 23, 2010

Political views-Nationwide strike on 5th July

The BJP-Shive Sena called strike on 5th July, Monday, was successful, that is successful for politicians, not ordinary people, ‘aam admi’ as they call them. I truly wonder if even ten percent of people and politicians alike, who called the Bandh and participated actively in it, understand mathematics of price rise or basics of petrol prices. I for one, don’t.

That is not to say that I support price rise. I too am affected by it. The point I want to drive home is, these people did not call the strike for the benefit of general public. Ordinary, law abiding citizens won’t benefit from it. They called this strike for their own purposes. From the Media showing news on several channels, it was apparent that none of the politicians was serious. I suspect if they knew or even cared for the gravity of this strike or price rise itself. They were laughing and calibrating as if this was some occasion to celebrate.

In one channel I saw Nitin Gadkari with his bloated, balloon like face addressing people about price rise. He was smiling ear to ear. Does it appear that the price rise has affected him? None of these so called well wishers of aam adami is affected by rising prices. Those who are affected, are further affected by this Bandh.

My contention is, let people deal with it. Let them show their displeasure en masse. After all, they dealt with the wrong judgment in Jessica Lall and SPS Rathod’s case, and successfully at that. None of these politicians showed their displeasure at those judgments or injustice meted out to the victims, leave alone declare a strike. People dealt with them and with striking triumph. If the likes of Mr. Gadkari, Mr. Advani and party are really worried about the woes of aam adami, let them sit on hunger strike against price rise and shed some kilos from their bulging bodies. This, I am sure will benefit both- aam adami and politicians. What say?


Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Politically incorrect-Pawarspeak

“I will discuss with the Prime Minister about my responsibilities….. I may suggest having more hands to help me. I had asked for three more ministers but they have given me one.” Thus spake our honorable minister Sharad Pawar.

This is Pawar’s response to various all round criticism against his posting as the ICC chief. Now the surprising factor is, his own statement above suggests that so far, for all this time he was not aware of his responsibilities as Agriculture Minister. The Prime Minister will have to spell them out. Like when an employer employs a new employee, he (employer) outlines the employee his duties. So far Mr. Pawar was waiting for our Prime Minister to allot him his duties. Result? Price rise and total chaos in agriculture and food sector.

As if that was not enough, he is now appointed as chief of ICC. I always thought Pawar is thick skinned. I am positive now. If and when our Prime Minister outlines his responsibilities, Pawar does not say he will carry them out. He says he will suggest having more ministers under him. Yes, quite right, the number of the helping hands he will ask for, depends on the quantum of work he is asked to do. You, by any chance, do not expect him to work himself, do you?

Meanwhile, our dear Agriculture Minister has many a mile to go and many a mountains to scale. Now that he is in BCCI and ICC on top of being a minister, it is but natural that he expands his sphere. Why, there is football to capture as the sport is gaining ground next to cricket. Then there is hockey to look at, as KPS Gill is unable to do much, if anything for the game. And hockey being our national game, it may require Pawar’s immediate attention. Of course, next in line is shooting. Now that Bindra has shown us some hope, all that the game needs is Pawar’s push. And how on earth can he ignore badminton? Since Saina Nehwal has given us three consecutive wins, it is only fair Pawar gives the game due attention it deserves. Where do agriculture and food stand in the big picture? So much to do and no helping hands? ‘Bahut na insaafi hai.’


Thursday, July 15, 2010

Politically incorrect-The Name game

So, Mayawati has changed the name of Amethi, Gandhis’ constituency and strong hold, to Chhatrapati Sahuji Maharaj, a dalit icon. It doesn’t matter that few, if any, outside Maharashtra know who Sahuji Maharaj was.

It appears that Lady Mayawati is done with the game of her statues. Little did she realize that the game of statues had limited shelf life and even more limited attention span, so she started a new game of changing names, those of places. This game, she probably thought, had unlimited time span, if the game is not limited to changing names of places only. It has a much wider scope if Mayawati uses her imagination.

Presently, she has changed the name of Amethi to Chhatrapati Sahuji Maharaj. What next? Plenty, if you ask me. To make this game more interesting, she can change the name of Delhi to Shahjahanabad. The Delhi administration may not agree. But, never mind. Mayawati can always pass state resolution that as far as U.P. was concerned, Delhi, hence forth shall be known as Shahjahanabad, for all intent and purpose.

To widen the game’s scope, she can change her own name from Mayawati to Mamata Banerjee and that of Mamata to Mayawati as far as the state of U.P. was concerned, though Mamatadidi may not agree. To take it further, Manmohan Singh shall be called L.K.Advani and vice versa in U.P. Make it more adventurous. Osama bin Laden, henceforth, shall be known as Barak Obama and Barak Obama as Osama Bin Laden. Don’t bother if those concerned do not agree, she can always pass state resolution.

The game is fun and the scope is endless. One can go as far as one’s imagination goes. One question though, if Her Ladyship decides to change the name of her state or of the country itself, what shall it be?

Any guesses? How about Mayanagari and Mayadesh?


Monday, July 12, 2010

Current Affairs-Full time job

Sharad Pawar takes over as ICC chief, as reported in news papers. Good, no, rather excellent. Congratulations to Pawar. In this otherwise pleasant outcome, the only unpleasant aspect is the statement of Malcom Speed, to the effect that Sharad Pawar is the Minister of Agriculture which is a serious full time job, that he will be working part-time as ICC President and that he knows little about cricket administration.

The last part of the statement that Pawar knows little about cricket administration is significant. It shows how ignorant Speed is with Pawar’s ways. The counter question Pawar may ask is ‘what is there to know about cricket administration? It is same as any other administration like agriculture, NCP, Mumbai cricket, BCCI, you name it. You simply attend meetings, celebrations, support Modi and travel wherever the game goes.’ Right, Mr. Pawar, for administrative work, there are always lackeys. The trick is to know when to wash your hands off Modi.

Sharad Pawar, the sugar baron, NCP chief and now ICC chief laughs at Speed’s innocence. He knows nothing about agriculture, little about cricket, and very little about international cricket, except watch it, if that. But look here Mr. Speed, he is on top in all the fields of his choice. You think Mr. Speed that Pawar made his millions by working as a minister or a sports chief? You are na├»ve. His time is spent on flying here, there, and where. Yes, making sure that his kin and relatives get profitable portfolios and keeping adversaries at bay is a full time job.

Then how does he manage NCP, agriculture, BCCI and now ICC. Elementary, my dear Mr. Speed, quite elementary. Manipulation and that too, is more than a full time job.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Politically incorrect-Self obsessed KRK

The previous article on Lalit Modi reminds me of yet another character, Kamal Rashid Khan, a small time actor, who thinks he is Clint Eastwood of the modern times. He calls himself KRK, walking on the foot-prints of Shah Rukh Khan, who is called SRK. The only difference apart from physical appearance is that in the case of Shah Rukh, media has put the tag of SRK, whereas Kamal Khan has opted to declare himself as KRK. At times it appears from his behavior that he is more talented than SRK, Amitabh and Aamir khan, all put together and has better physique then Salman and Hritik. He has never seen his face and physique properly in the mirror. Now, imagine his face without his neck and trunk. It is small and round. Draw three-four big black lines on his upper lip. You have a face of a cat, not a human.

This great Kamal Rashid Khan a.k.a. KRK famously declared on a TV show he was participating in, that other participants were jealous of him because he was so rich that ‘his water comes from France and milk comes from Spain.’ KRK forgot to declare where his food comes from. And what about air which he breaths? Air in India is supposed to be most contaminated. I suppose he gets it from Mount Kilimanjaro.

I keep wondering about his other daily needs. He should bath in Japan (Japanese baths are famous), to relieve himself he should grace the desert land of Dubai and one would imagine him squatting in Alps. The fact is that the great Kamal Rashid Khan a.k.a. KRK is a self obsessed, narcissist. People of Lucknow or Delhi wherever he stays, should kick his butt and throw him to the wolves. But, here too, he would prefer an American kick, I suppose.


Friday, July 2, 2010

Celebrity news-Maharaja Modi

The news that our highly respected Sri Lalit Modi spent Rs. Forty lakhs on taxi bills during IPL.3 season, amounting to almost Rs. one lakh a day. Not much and not unexpected, if you consider the status of His Highness. His Lordship used B.M.W. and Mercedes Benz of certain class only. If news is to be believed, on one occasion, Modi went to Dharamshala by air and his car was sent ahead from Delhi to meet him at the airport. On another occasion, his car was sent from Hyderabad to Nagpur which took him to the stadium merely ten minutes drive away. We should thank our stars that His Highness did not ‘air lift’ his preferred cars where ever he went.

What do you expect from a man who, when barely in his teens was involved in kidnapping and drugs, that too on foreign land, and who married a woman who was his mother’s friend and more then a decade older then him? It speaks volumes for his character. A friend remarked: “He was saved because of the Modi empire tag. Left on his own, no body will employ him even as a watch man of a building.” Right, we got the picture.

This Modi episode reminds me of a book titled “Maharaja” written by Diwan Germaidas, years back. Diwan Germaidas, as the name suggests, was a Diwan of a Maharaja of an erstwhile princely state. He was witness to the habits and whims of several Rajas and Nawabs, he came into contact with, including his own Maharaja. Some were fond of collecting Rolls Roy cars, some wanted beautiful women in their Harem, some got their favorite fruits flown in daily from foreign countries, some spent astronomical sums on their pets’ weddings, some were legendary misers and some were generous to a fault.

Our Modi Maharaja chap is like them. He likes to travel in style, only in B.M.W. and Mercedes Benz. Never mind his personal class. He likes to travel in style, stay in style, of course, at the expense of the BCCI, not his own.

As they say: “Shaukh hon to Modi jaise hon,varna na hon.” (If you have habits, have them like Modi or don’t have them). AMEN.


Monday, June 28, 2010

Politically incorrect-Rest everything

One little boy of around six presented a self made birth day greeting card to his Papa. Papa was very happy. Impressed, he asked: “How nice. You made it yourself?”

The kid: “Yes, Papa.”

Papa: “Thank you, son. This outline of the sky and cloud is beautiful. You drew it?”

The kid: “Mummy did it for me. Rest of the things I have done.”

Papa: “This ‘happy birth day’ is written very artistically. Did you write it?”

The kid: “Actually Rohan wrote it, but, rest of the things are done by me.”

Papa: “Fine, fine. I notice that the colors are done evenly. You did them, I suppose?”

The kid: “Didi did the coloring for me. I have done the rest.”

Papa: “And this message is so thoughtful. You thought of it?”

The kid: “Errr…. Papa, Manasi thought it for me, but the rest…………..”

Papa didn’t have the heart to ask the kid what remained in ‘rest’. Similar is the case with our B.M.C.

Public: “These Nullas are always full. Do you get them cleaned by employees of you own department?”

B.M.C.: “No, we have given this contract to a company to clean them. Rest of the things we do.”

Public: “Do your own supervisors supervise the cleaning process?”

B.M.C.: “Not really. We have outsourced this to a supervising firm. Rest of the work we do.”

Public: “What about the potholes? Did your own engineers lay these roads themselves?”

B.M.C.: “Actually we have given this contract to a very reputed company who are expert at this kind of things.”

Public: “But potholes are everywhere. Do your own people supervise?”

B.M.C.: “You see, it is cheaper to give supervising contract to outsiders. Rest of the things we manage ourselves.”

Public: “There are slums on B.M.C. land everywhere. Who will remove them?”

B.M.C.: “We have outsourced this work to people who were themselves land grabbers once. They are absolutely fit for this job. But believe us, rest of the things we do.”

Public: “And what are these rest of the things supposed to be?”


I have the answer. They merely line their pockets. It’s a full time job.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Politically incorrect-Naturally

According to our Finance minister, Sri Pranab Mukerjee, now that the issue of extradition (of Warren Anderson of Union Carbide) has come up, naturally he will explore the possibility of it (extradition)”. Hindustan Times dt. 14th June 2010, reference Bhopal Gas tragedy.

Naturally’ is the key word here and that too used quite casually. ‘Naturally’ the government is waking up after more then twenty five years of the tragedy. ‘Naturally’ the government is yet on the discussion stage of the issue. ‘Naturally’ a group of ministers is formed to find ways and means to compensate the victims. ‘Naturally’ the exploration of the process of extradition will last another twenty five years and by that time the government will ‘naturally’ expect Warren Anderson to have migrated to another planet, God knows heaven or hell.

Since we do not have any extradition treaty with either heaven or hell, the government will ‘naturally’ explore ways to get Anderson back from high above. And that will be the day.

The government let Anderson slip away or helped him flee our country. All successive governments slept on the issue for twenty five long years. It is only after mockery of a judgment was announced and there was a huge public outrage that the government is exploring ways means to punish the guilty. How very noble. ‘Naturally’, it is clear that all governments find lives of one Manu Sharma, one Koda and one Rathod more precious than fifteen thousand lives or deaths and lacs suffering, both born and unborn. It comes ‘naturally’ to the government.


Saturday, June 12, 2010

Current affairs-Art of Love

Our very senior politician, one time aspirant of Prime Minister’s post, Sri N.K. Tiwari had to resign because of his sexual escapades. In this otherwise sad episode lies a boon in disguise. Tiwari, at 84 (or is it 85?) may not have lost his libido, but has certainly lost his mental prowess, otherwise he would have seen three opportunities in this sordid affair.

First- A certain God man in our country teaches ‘Art of living’ and has quite a few followers, not only in our country but elsewhere in the world. Tiwari can follow this God man’s foot steps and teach ‘Art of love’. His pearls of wisdom on this subject can fetch him many followers and he can rake in the moolah.

Second- Tiwari can take up modeling. He can be an ideal model for companies manufacturing medicines like Viagra. Here, both manufacturers and Tiwari, missed the bus. The companies manufacturing such drugs should have instantly seen immense opportunity in Tiwari as a model. Who else, but a man of 84, having it out with not one, but two girls, young enough to be his grand daughters, can be a better model for these medicines?

Third- Tiwari may be invited (almost certainly) to other countries for sharing his knowledge and expertise on this subject. He can charge a bomb for every lecture he delivers and make immense wealth. Wasn’t Lalu Prasad invited to disclose his wisdom for running railways? Then again, Ashrams teaching ‘Art of love’, on the lines of ‘Osho’ may not be far away.

Last, Even the God of love (Kamdev) may feel ashamed of himself and seek Tiwari’s advice on the subject for new tricks. Other Gods like Indra may make him their Guru and may want to learn why and how the law of ‘diminishing libido with age’, does not effect him.

There, inadvertently, I have shown him one more opportunity.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Political views-Sena awards

Not so long time ago, Shiv Sena was after Sachin Tendulkar’s blood for having said that he was an Indian first and Maharashtrian next and rightly so. These were simple words of a simple person having no interest in anything other then cricket, least of all politics. But the failing Sena these days tries to gain mileage from any and every thing.

This same Sena, upon Tendulkar having scored a double ton in a one day game, declared him a Bharat Ratna. Sena is after the government to confer Bharat Ratna on Tendulkar.

In fact, Sena is not at all concerned whether Tendulkar or anybody else for that matter, has Nationalist leanings or communal ones, whether Tendulkar scores a ton or a big zero. All it is trying to do is to remain in lime light and failing miserably. Even Maharashtrians are not impressed. Sena has failed to arouse interest of the local people and most of them are against Sena’s antics.

Here is a little suggestion. Sena should declare its own awards. That way, it will not have to depend on local or central government where awards are concerned. It has another advantage. If Sena is not happy with some one or let us say, if someone does not toe the line, Sena is free to bash him as is its wont. Next, if and when the same person achieves some thing, Sena can quickly award him with its own award. That way Sena may gain some ground.

How is that for a start?


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Politically incorrect-Modigate

We have been reading about IPL scam in various news papers for the past several days. It is interesting to note that these papers are naming these articles on IPL on the basis of Watergate scam in the United States. Some articles are titled Kochigate, some are IPLgate and some Tharoorgate. Finally IPLgate is more or less an accepted term. I wonder why.

While it is interesting to come across all these titles with suffix “gate” and while all the articles singularly blame Lalit Modi for this huge scandal, it is disheartening to note that nobody has thought of the scam as “Modigate”. I think it is insulting to Lalit Modi. It is an accepted fact that IPL is Modi’s brainchild. He made a success of it. It is also an accepted fact that he never consulted anybody on any decision, major or minor. He ran IPL as his personal fiefdom. Modi is bigger then the game itself, or so he thought. Why then any gate other then Modigate. At least, let’s give the poor fellow his due.

Modi is no stranger to controversies. Right from his student days he is involved in one or the other. He takes them into his stride and rides on them. May be he even enjoys them. So he deserves all the credit for this episode for which he has worked so hard, involved so many relatives, managed to get support of stalwarts like Sharad Pawar and I. S. Bindra. Let it be Modigate.


Monday, March 15, 2010

Celebrity news-His name is Khan

Shah Rukh has that boyish charm even at this age. He has tremendous energy which few people are blessed with. I don’t like to watch his movies. I think they are over emotional. But as a person I really like him. In an industry where one can survive without some body’s help, he has come up on his own steam without having any God father. Another thing I admire is his rock solid marriage. In film industry, relationships are formed and broken at the drop of a hat, Shah Rukh’s family life is solid. Not a whiff of a scandal. Quite admirable.

Shah Rukh, I thought, is a little arrogant. His comment somewhere that other actors were good, rather very good, but he was a little better then them, was, I thought, a bit narcissist. May be it was self confidence. He has a mass fan following and what is more, he knows it. So far I liked him but I never knew he has high moral values and guts to stand firmly for what he believes in. I now respect him for the stand he took against Shiv Sena. Where other stalwarts of the industry tumbled like a pack of cards, Shah Rukh stood his ground against threats from Shiv Sena, for what he believes in. Yes, he was sad and he was tired but not intimidated. He didn’t rush to Bala Saheb’s office for compromise to save his film. It is sad that no one, not a single person from his own industry openly stood with him. He faced the crisis all alone and came victorious.

Again, more appreciable, Shah Rukh apologized to his producer, Karan Johar for the mess and even offered to compensate him for his financial losses. And this is where he scored with me. How many actors can boast of this high moral standard? Not a single name comes to my mind. Earlier, I just liked him, now I respect him. He has what it takes.

He is a true Khan – his name is Khan.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Politically incorrect-Sharad Pawar

Our politicians are known to stoop to any extent in order to retain their chair and power. But no body ever expected Sharad Pawar, a man of stature and status to stoop so low as to invite and support Padamsinh Patil, suspended from his party’s primary membership following his arrest in a murder case. Pawar openly supported Padamsinh and appealed to people to support him.

Earlier, Pawar had visited Bala Saheb to request him to allow Australian cricketers to play in Mumbai. It may have been Pawar’s political strategy, but it didn’t go well with Congress or with public at large. What is more, it is reported that Bala Saheb had gall enough to tell Pawar to send him a request letter and he would consider the matter as if Pawar was applying for some loan for Thackery’s consideration. Does Pawar accept that Mumbai is Bala Saheb’s fiefdom?

Pawar should know that he is failing. Once a man, nobody dared to cross whose path, today, he appears to be failing what with his moves, food price rising and other things.

What next? I won’t be surprised if tomorrow he asks Ajmal Kasab for support. After all, both Padamsinh and Kasab are charged with murders. Only difference being, the former has killed one person and the later has to account for several lives. But that should be no big deal with Pawar. After all, it is said that one should always have second line of action.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Crime-Poetic justice

According to one report in newspaper Gujarat Samachar of 20th Feb., Dawood Ibrahim, the noted gangster, has to pay protection money to extremist religious organizations for his own protection in Pakistan. What an idea sirji.

If the report is true, strange as it may sound, Dawood, that underworld don, who threatened and collected protection money from builders, traders, stars industrialists and others, has to pay for his own safety. This underworld goon, who has never lifted a finger in his life to make money and yet rolls in millions by just threatening and eliminating people, is helpless before fanatics. Pakistan, it seems, is not his safe heaven any more. He seems to be afraid that Pakistan will have to hand him over to India under international pressure. Since religious fanatics are very powerful in Pakistan and can influence government decisions, Dawood is paying these religious hardliners in millions to ensure his safe keep in Pakistan. I find it quite amusing. It is called poetic justice.

It is said that your deeds come back to you to haunt. You get paid for your deeds, good or bad, in this life itself.

On another line and on a lighter note, Dawood is needlessly worried about being extradited to India. Kasab has so far survived in India, hasn’t he? Kasab is illiterate, poor and a stranger in our country, and is still enjoying our hospitality. Dawood, on the other hand, has millions, along with many relatives to back him. He is sure to survive in India by paying one tenth of what he is paying to those fanatics, to our politicians and law keepers. Rather, he would be safer in India. Welcome Dawood.


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Political views-Madhu Koda

Ex-chief minister of Jharkhand, Madhu Koda has gone on record to declare that he is a poor tribal being unnecessarily harassed by the authority.

Rightly so. His counter part, ex-chief minister of Bihar, our very own Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav was involved in the fodder scam of Rupees nine hundred crores. That was years back. Considering the inflation since, this scam of four thousand crores is nothing. So Koda considers himself poor.

On top of this, authorities are keen to make him face economic offence directorate for questioning. How inconsiderate? He has two solid reasons not to face the enquiry. One, as soon as he was found to have bungled money, he conveniently fell ill. How can you question a person who is not well? Second, his wife is standing in elections. So, he wants to campaign for his wife. It is his solemn duty to stand by his wife. His wife is not involved in any scandal. Ours being a democratic nation, he has every right to help his wife in time of her need, scam or no scam.

In case his wife wins this election, government can make as many enquiries as it likes. Where is the harm? More then half of Koda’s ill-gotten wealth is already safe, invested in foreign countries. If nothing happened to Lalu Yadav, how can anything happen to Madhu Koda? That will be injustice. Even after proved guilty, Lalu enjoys one ministry or the other, so will Koda. More so, because he is a tribal. Even if there is a token trial and a token sentence and even if all his wealth in this country is seized, he can bank upon his investments outside this country when he comes out of prison, that is, if at all he goes to prison, which is unlikely.

In long and short: By all means get involved in scams. But they should be long scams. And in short, invest in foreign shores. You will be as safe as ever. Enjoy your scam.


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Celebrity news-Life immortal

So, Ray Kurzweil has predicted that nanotechnology will allow us to reverse our age and we can live life forever. This target, according to Kurzweil, can be achieved by year 2029. Too close for comfort. Kurzweil, who is considered by Bill Gates as “ the smartest futurist on earth”, has declared that nanotechnology will allow us to be free of all diseases and we will continue to live a healthy and happy life forever.
Now let us consider our very own and beloved Sri Lalu Prasad Yadav opting for nanotechnology. Already, he is blessed with two short of cricket eleven as far as his offspring are concerned and that too without any nanotechnology. With this new technology on his side and with no time limit, he will have as many dozens as he has singles now. The nation may have trouble feeding so many mouths but Lalu will have no such problem with fodder in his pocket.
If, the most beautiful woman in the world, Aishwarya Rai remains as beautiful and desirable with the help of this nanotechnology, the world will topple upside down. It is said that such beauty occurs once in several generations. If Aishwarya Rai retains her beauty through this reverse age technic, it is possible that great great great grandsons of say, Salman Khan or Vivek Oberoi may vie for her hand, instead of someone their own age. This is dangerous and outright amoral.
And in our cherished city of Mumbai, housing societies, instead of accommodating two hundred families in as many flats, will have only one in the entire society with generations of a single family staying together. The societies will not be known as Diamond Complex or Silver Complex etc. They will be known as Kapur Complex and Parekh Complex.
All that is very well, but, where will the food come for so many? Our nation and the entire world for that matter, is struggling with over population. Where will the animals go as we will be occupying all the land and forests? The world will be a fine place with this nanotechnology. So let us, all of us request Mr. Kurzweil to let the world be.


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Crime-Dr. Pilani

One more person, Dr. Pilani, is accused of illegal kidney transplants. According to news in papers, Hindustan Times of 18th Dec., he is supposed to have transplanted two hundred kidneys. Dr. Pilani was arrested in Oct. 2007 for this crime.
Strange are the ways of our councils, whether judicial or medical or any other for that matter. Even after committing and subsequently confessing his crimes, the present status is that, Dr. Pilani is out on bail along with his co-accused. Not only that, he is allowed to practice his profession as a general physician. Initially, his license as a medical practitioner was suspended in Aug. 2008. Later, in July 2009, it was revoked for unknown reasons. Strange indeed, for this Dr. Pilani out on the streets on bail, is more dangerous then any murderer. His act of transplanting kidneys tantamounts to attempted murders, yet, he is free and practicing.
Since Dr. Pilani promised Rs. Five lacs to his victims, it is safe to assume that he must have demanded and got at least four times that amount from his clients. It is a different matter that he paid pittance to his victims. So, at a guess, he must have earned 15 Lacs from each of his two hundred clients. That amounts to cool thirty crores, no less, at the cost of 200 labourers’ lives. God only knows how many of them have survived.
And the good doctor is out on bail, his medical license duly revoked to further his trade with the help of our judicial system and our medical councils. Strange are our ways indeed. Any other country would have put him in gas chamber pronto. But not India. Good luck to Dr. Pilani.


Friday, February 19, 2010

Indian politics-Telangana

The government had earlier decided to form another state, Telangana, from Andhra Pradesh. Opposition parties were sour and were protesting against this move of the ruling congress party. Now the Congress says ‘no new state in haste.’

All very well for the opposition and coalition partners to protest. They claimed that the Congress did not take them into confidence. But what could the government do? It was helpless against fasting Chandrashekhara who declared fast unto death. How could the government let him die on them? Even while hanging a hardened criminal on noose, the authority asks that person about his last wish and tries solemnly to grant it. This was the last wish of dying Chandrashekhara and he is no hardened criminal. How could the government ignore his last petty wish of a separate state? It is a different matter that he didn’t die. It is a different matter that he is known as an utterly selfish politician who frequently changes parties. So what? It is the duty of the government to fulfill his last wish and it tried to do it. Now if others follow suit and try enacting this drama, so be it.

In long and short, you announce a long fast unto death for your wish to be granted by the government, but your fast will be short as the powers that be will grant your wish, any wish, before long. Rest assured.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Celebrity news-Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari

Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari sacrifices a goat daily in order to ward off the “evil eye” and protection from “black magic”. Since 2008, when he moved into presidency, hundreds of poor animals have been sacrificed.

Still, he is in trouble. In fact, more so then earlier, that is, prior to those sacrifices. Poor Zardari, the higher being has not accepted his offerings, so it seems.

Zardari is on the wrong track. To begin with, he should have offered ten percent of the ill-gotten ten percent he collected from every big deal, to the deity he believes in. If that did not work, only then he should have offered sacrifices. But, not of the kind he did. Instead of poor, hapless animals, he should have sacrificed his own limbs and organs one by one on daily basis. For example, one finger each day, then hands and so on. Two things could have happened. By this time, he could have successfully warded off the “evil eye” and gotten protection against “black magic”. Alternatively, he could have sacrificed his whole being and there by getting rid of all worldly miseries.

The result of the second possibility would have been much better. Pakistan, Zardari’s beloved country, would have been better off without Zardari’s own “evil eyes” and “black magic”.



Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Politically incorrect-SPS Rathore

Our public and our news papers are making hue and cry about the fact that former DGP. S.P.S. Rathore and his wife were smiling shamelessly while coming out of the court. Why shouldn’t they smile? Rathore has achieved so much in life, has been promoted and awarded for his distinguished services, by the government.

But, if you ask me, he has been awarded for all the wrong reasons. Our government has failed to honor him for his other much higher achievements.

First, Rathore successfully molested a fourteen year old girl, rather a child, of his own daughter’s age. Great success.

Second, he succeeded in throwing the girl out of her school for daring to make a police complaint against him.

Third, Rathore managed to threaten and compel Ruchika’s entire family to leave Panchkula and move elsewhere, thereby managing to destroy the family.

Fourth, he succeeded in getting Ruchika’s brother arrested and charged for car thefts that he never committed.

He managed to drive Ruchika to commit suicide.

Last, but not the least and most important: Rathore managed to not only continue in his job, and get promotions and awards, he relentlessly dedicated nineteen years to fight his case ( inspite of the fact that he had other police duties )and came scot-free out of the court.

Rathore’s achievements are greater than any Olympian winning gold medals. But the government has failed to recognize these super heroic deeds.

In long and short: Middle class families like Ruchika’s should be prepared for life time battle to fight the might of rich and influential. If we want justice, persons like Rathore should be given instant reward, by allowing public to lynch them, like some Muslim countries do.

Header image credit: adapted from David Niblack

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